


for a while things were cold

by celaenos



Series: take these broken wings [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Gen, quinn keeps beth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:29:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1287889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celaenos/pseuds/celaenos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two lines etch themselves onto a small plastic stick and Quinn stops praying altogether.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> abandons canon rather quickly and happily:) each chapter covers a year of school. this is mostly a prologue/set up for a larger quinn-centric story.
> 
> possible trigger warnings for mentions of eating disorders in this chapter.

_"To tell the truth is very difficult, and young people are rarely capable of it."_

_-Leo Tolstoy_

 

Two lines.

Quinn watches as the second line slowly forms and the breath she had already been holding seems to disappear from her body altogether.

“What does two lines mean?” Puck asks. “Is that good or bad?”

Quinn drops the stick to the ground and bends over, trying to catch her breath.

“Shit.” Puck mumbles.

...

...

How is it that someone as smart as she is didn't think to use a condom? How is it fair that God would allow her to get pregnant the first time she has sex? She _had_ been preoccupied, desperately trying to will her body to react to Puck's. To react the way a woman's body was _supposed_ to with a man's. In her attempts to force her body to operate properly, she had neglected to bear in mind one of the main things that comes from sex between a man and woman--pregnancy.

...

...

“Look, it'll be fine, we'll... I've got a lot of bar mitzvah money left in the bank, if – if you want to, I can manage a good chunk of the money if you want to go to a clinic.”

“What?” Quinn spits out at him. Her breath finally returns to her body--her body that has betrayed her in such a major fashion. She stands up and immediately invades Puck's personal space, hovering over him. She watches as he shrinks down into her bed. Despite the situation she's in, she'd be lying if she said she didn't revel in the power she has over him just a little. “I'm _not_ doing that. That's not an option so if that's what you're going to offer me than you can just get the hell out!”

“I'm not... I just meant I can help if that's what you want.” Puck insists. Quinn almost slaps him. “I meant... I _mean_ , shit Quinn I don't--we should have fucking used a condom.” He groans into his hands.

“ _You_ should have had one!” Quinn yells and begins pacing back and forth in front of the bed. The bed that a little over a two months ago she and Puck had engaged in quite possibly the least erotic act of intercourse ever to exist. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. Or, Quinn had _needed_ it to be a good idea. She had desperately been hoping for an entirely different outcome. Praying that she would be overcome with lust, and that it was just _Finn_ she wasn't attracted to.

...

...

The wine coolers don't really relax her much at all, but Puck does. He makes her feel desired in a way that Finn never has. The night before she spends almost two hours trying to get Finn to pay attention to her instead of the some football game on tv. Ever since he joined up with the glee club losers he pays more attention to _Rachel fucking Berry_ than her. She is a million times prettier than Rachel Berry. She runs almost two miles everyday, makes sure to eat Coach's special shakes for at least one meal, and if she goes overboard on anything, she sticks her fingers down her throat.

Santana is fucking Puck, but they're not dating and it's not Quinn's problem anyway. Santana's been acting like more and more of a bitch lately and Quinn has no time for her shit.

Puck keeps grinning at her, making a point to say 'hey' anytime he walks past her and eventually, Quinn stops ignoring him.

Finn ditches her to work on some dumb song with the glee club and Quinn's car is in the shop. Santana and Brittany mysteriously disappear by the time Quinn gets out of the locker room. So it looks like she's walking home.

Puck pulls his car up to Quinn as she walks down the street. He blares on the horn once and winks at her. “Wanna ride?” He asks. She considers saying no, the walk will do her good. She ate too much at lunch and feels sluggish. But he smiles at her, so she just nods once and climbs into the car.

Somehow, he knows exactly what to say to her. It never feels much like Finn is actually trying to understand her. He says what he thinks he is supposed to say, what he thinks Quinn wants to hear. It's aggravating. Puck just says it casually, like it's true and he doesn't even need to think about it. “You're not fat. You've got one of the most rockin' bods in school.”

She chugs down the first wine cooler as fast as she can, choking on it as Puck laughs at her. She hits him on the arm and he gives her a sort of sheepish grin as he passes over a second. She sips this one intermittently as they start making out.

She's not an idiot, she knows this is definitely wrong. Puck is her boyfriend's best friend, and he is in her bed kissing her, and it's _wrong_. She pushes him up and gets off the bed.

“What's up?” He asks.

Quinn just shakes her head and paces back and forth, the wine coolers are starting to take an effect and she just... she shouldn't be doing this. She's a Christian, she should be waiting until marriage and she knows where Puck thinks this is going to go. She wasn't sure at first, hanging out, maybe a little making out was one thing, but the look in Puck's eye is something else. “I'm gonna go to the bathroom.” She tells him. “I'll be right back.”

Puck just nods and chugs a beer that he pulled out of who knows where.

She splashes some cold water on her face, but it doesn't sober her up. She stares at herself in the mirror and looks at all the things she hates about herself; but Puck told her she was pretty. Even though it's Puckerman and he can probably get himself into anyone's pants, Quinn believes him.

She splashes a tiny bit more water on her face and fixes her ponytail. Whatever part of her felt like this was a bad idea, she just shuts it off and walks back into her bedroom. To Noah Puckerman. He grins at her, easy and casual and his eyes linger on her thighs. Quinn feels the heat in the room go up and walks right over to him.

Kissing him isn't much better than kissing Finn. Puck knows what he is doing, he's far less sloppy, but it still feels wrong somehow. She knows it's not how she's supposed to feel as he hovers over her, kissing her neck and languidly peeling off her clothes. She stops him from pulling her Cheerios top off, already feeling cold and far too exposed. He doesn't press any further, but he lifts his hands to her breast and begins massaging it over her bra. Quinn just concentrates on kissing him, trying to will everything to start feeling good. Puck unbuckles his jeans and slides off his boxers in almost one fluid motion. Before she knows it he slowly begins maneuvering himself inside of her. God it _hurts_. Her entire body feels like it is going to rip in half. “Wait!” She grabs him, holding him in place.

“What? Sorry, I'm I...”

“Just... wait don't move. Kiss me instead.” She orders.

“Okay.”

Puck holds himself in place and kisses Quinn expertly. He is far more gentle and sweet than she would have thought and truthfully, he isn't a bad person to have her first time with. After a minute or so he starts moving inside her again and while it never starts to feel _good_ , it stops making her body feel like it's going to explode after a while. Quinn can't move though, she can't do anything but kiss him back and just wait for it to be over. Finally, Puck moans and leans back a little, slipping himself out gently. “My knees are hurting and I think I... I think I'm done.” He admits. 

“Okay.”

He'd rolls off and lays next to Quinn. “Do you... want me to do anything else? Didn't seem like you got off.”

“No.” Quinn answers without looking at him. “You can leave.”

“You don't want to hang out some more or anything?”

“No Puck, get out.” She snaps.

He nods and gathers his clothes, dresses quickly and lets himself out. After a minute or two Quinn crawls up into a sitting position and finally notices the light blood on her sheets. She curses and stumbles out of her bed--the wine coolers making her dizzy--and pulls the sheets along with her. Quinn bundles them up and dumps them on her bathroom floor before turning the tub on and sinking down into the hot water. She remains in the tub until she's shivering from the cold water, but she still doesn't feel clean. When she wakes up the next morning, her head is pounding, her body is still a bit sore and her mouth smells like something died in it.

...

...

She manages to avoid Puck for a few weeks afterwards. She does what Fabrays do best, ignore the problem in the hope that it will just go away all by itself. A month goes by with no period and she begins to panic.

She promises God straight A's, no more throwing up meals, never letting another boy touch her until her wedding night, she even promises to try to be nicer to Rachel Berry. All he has to do is please, _please_ let her get her period.

The second month passes and she can't pretend it's a fluke anymore. She breaks down, texts Puck and makes him steal her a pregnancy test.

In the full minute it takes to wait for the results of the test she sends up every prayer she can think off. She promises the world, she'll change everything and anything God needs of her, she means it too.

Two lines etch themselves onto a small plastic stick and Quinn stops praying altogether.

...

...

“Well.....if you don't want to get rid of it, what are you gonna do?” Puck asks after a few minutes of silence.

“We.” She corrects.

“Huh?”

“This is equally your problem Puckerman. Get used to the word 'we'.”

“So... are we dating now?” He asks with the tiniest hint of a hopeful grin.

Quinn whips her head around and faces him, prepared to say no. The answer is most definitely _'no'_. And yet, what comes out of her mouth is, “we're about to have a child, what do you think?” She sits down on the edge of the bed beside him and lets out a sigh. “I don't want to have a baby.” She admits.

“We don't have to.” Puck says again.

“It's not an option Puck. I--I believe women should be able to decide what they want to do with their bodies, and I'm deciding I do _not_ want to do that with mine, so drop it.”

“Are we keeping it then?”

“I'm dating Finn.” Quinn reminds him.

“Yeah, and _I_ knocked you up!”

“Don't tell anyone.” She orders. “I mean it, not a single person. I don't want to have a baby with you Puck. You're a Lima Loser. I'm not subjecting a child to that. I'm dating Finn and you are keeping your mouth shut, are we clear?”

Puck glares back at her. For a moment Quinn thinks he's going to protest, but he doesn't say a word. He doesn't agree to her terms either, he just stands up and walks out of her bedroom.

Quinn drops down onto the mattress and stares up at the ceiling. She's fifteen years old and pregnant. She hates her boyfriend, she doesn't like the boy who got her pregnant, and she barely likes her supposed best friends. Nothing about her life is fair right now.

...

...

It only takes about four days of ignoring Puck's every pointed look for Quinn to break and tell Finn the news. He sputters and freaks out accordingly, but he believes her.

Part of her feels horrible for lying to someone so gullible and idiotic. Part of her feels like he deserves it. She hates herself anyway. It's a feeling she'll get used to.

“You've got to get a job.” She insists. The only way she can see any sort of end to this horrible tunnel she's found herself in is Finn. If she can just present him and this situation in the right way maybe her parents won't disown her. They'll be livid for sure, but if she and Finn get married and do everything the way they'd want... she can almost see her having a chance.

She's thought about marrying Finn at some point more than once. It's only natural in the Fabray household. Her parents have expectations and Finn hits a lot of the marks pretty well. Puck doesn't hit a single one.

Marriage has always been an inevitability. When she pictures it, the man has no face, or sometimes he looks like her father, or Frannie's husband, every once in awhile Finn. There is always a little blonde boy and a smaller blonde girl, a big white house, and church on Sundays. In essence, she pictures life in her current home; putting herself in her mother's place instead of her own.

It's going to be a few years earlier than planned, but... that can't be helped anymore.

...

...

People start finding out. She's not showing yet, and she hasn't breathed a word to anyone besides Finn and Puck. She corners Finn in the hallway and lays into him for a solid five minutes before he swears he hasn't said a word.

Santana has always been the violent one. Quinn likes to hurt with words--it's less messy--but when she sees Puck she hauls off and punches him anyway. Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones both shriek.

“Ow, fuck Quinn that hurt!” Puck whines.

She grabs his arm and yanks him into a deserted corner of the hallway. “Who did you tell?” She hisses.

“What? I didn't...”

“Who the hell did you tell Puckerman? People are looking at me funny, they're whispering, Finn hasn't said anything and you two are the only people who know.”

“I didn't say anything to anyone.” He insists again. Quinn quirks an eyebrow and he flattens back into the wall a little. “I didn't say anything.” He repeats softly. “I _swear_. If people are talking about you, it's about something else, probably Rachel and Finn.”

“Excuse me?” Quinn bites out.

“Oh... shit. Well, you know they did that weird sex song in front of the whole school and she was like, grinding on him and stuff. I mean, anyone with eyes can see she likes him.”

Quinn doesn't say a word. Puck actually looks a little frightened.

“I mean, that'd be my guess.” He shrugs.

Quinn sighs. She really can't take much more of this, and she feels like maybe it has only just started.

“It's only a matter of time anyway. Before people find out. You're gonna get like, fat and stuff for a while.” He adds.

“Shut up Puck.” Quinn spits out and walks away.

...

...

People do know. Somehow, that little shit of a _'reporter'_ Jacob finds out. Quinn has no idea how and honestly, she can't bring herself to care. Someone has the gall to slushie her and Finn as they are walking down the hall. Joining the glee club has made them both targets, and the rumors going around are only making it worse. It's only a matter of time before her parents find out, and she has no idea how they are going to react.

The worst part about it all is that Rachel Berry actually helps. She is sympathetic to the point where for a second-- _a second--_ Quinn almost considers taking her up on the offer of friendship. Then she remembers that Rachel is trying to steal her boyfriend _while she is having his baby_ and considers it a moment of temporary insanity.

...

...

Puck is making eyes at Rachel. Quinn can't claim him in any way shape or form without ruining everything and she doesn't think she wants Puck in that way. But something about the fact that Rachel is into both the same guys as her makes Quinn furious.

“My ma wants me to date a jewish girl.” He says with a shrug. “Plus, have you seen those short skirts she wears?” He grins in a way that makes Quinn squirm.

“I don't look at other girls skirts.”

“You should.” He wiggles his eyebrows and Quinn just walks away.

...

...

Coach kicks her off the Cheerios.

Quinn stands there but somehow can't bring herself to look right into Coach's eyes. She takes all Coach dishes out –- like usual –- but the sting of her words hit so much deeper than normal.

She's built half her identity around being the head cheerleader and now... that's not her anymore. In an instant she's nothing.

It seems like the whole school knows before Quinn can even get out of the parking lot. Coach tells her right in the middle of the hallway, it's not exactly subtle. Quinn refuses to cry or run out of the school, she's not giving anybody the satisfaction. But the second she reaches the privacy of her car, she gets it in gear and rips out of the school parking lot, tears beginning to fall. She has to pull over to the side of the road once she gets far enough away because she's crying too hard.

There is no way to avoid telling her parents now. This town is small and full of people who love to talk. Other people's misery give them fuel and they pick and pick and pick until there is nothing left.

...

...

Her mother brings in her dress for the chastity ball for Quinn to try on that afternoon. It's like some cruel joke the world keeps adding too. She doesn't know how to say the words, so she just pulls the dress on. Apparently, she's showing more than she thought because the dress doesn't quite fit. Quinn stands in front of the mirror in her bedroom and her mother comes up behind her. She tucks Quinn's hair back behind her ear and tugs and pulls at the dress a bit, making small comments about the tailors. Judy's hand lingers on Quinn's stomach for a second and she hears her mother's breath hitch. Quinn stops breathing. She waits, but her mother doesn't move a muscle.

Before either of them can say a word, Russell Fabray walks into the room and tells her how beautiful she looks. Quinn watches her mother straighten up her back and plaster a smile on her face as she takes the drink her husband offers her. Both her parents sip their drinks and smile at her and Quinn wants to run as fast and as far out of the room as she can.

Instead, she plasters on a smile to match her mother's and says she can't wait for the ball.

...

...

Quinn can't keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. She puts on her Cheerios uniform and kisses her father goodbye the next morning; a dress and a cardigan stuffed into her backpack.

She changes in the backseat of her car, it's one of the most humiliating things she can think of. Quinn spends the whole two minutes it takes looking out every window to make sure a pervert isn't watching.

She gets to school and feels naked without her Cheerios uniform. Everyone is staring and not in a good way. Santana snickers at her as she walks by pinkies locked with Brittany. Quinn stares straight ahead and goes to find Finn.

“I have to tell my parents tonight. You need to be there, dress up, wear a tie or whatever.” She says as a greeting. Finn looks like he's constipated. Quinn smacks his arm. “Are you listening to me?” She hisses. Finn just nods. “Did you get a job yet?”

“Uh, no.”

“Finn! I've already got a bill from the doctor, it's over 600 dollars. You need to get a goddamn job!”

“I'm trying!”

“Try harder.”

...

...

Puck finds her in Home Economics, she's trying to make some sort of pastry. It's not going over so well. He hands over a wad of cash with a smirk.

“I can help pay for stuff. I've got a job cleaning pools.”

“I don't want your money Puck.” Quinn shoves it back at him.

“No, but you need it. Face it Quinn, you need me. This baby is mine and I can help. Finn's my boy but he's a dumbass, he's never gonna be able to help you the way I can.”

“I thought you were dating Rachel Berry.” She sneers.

“Nah, that's over.”

Quinn feels some small bit of vindication from that. She starts mixing ingredients and doesn't look at him. He flirts with her and as much as she wants to ignore him, he still knows how to make her feel good. She's angry with everyone right now, and the fact that Puck still seems to want her... it makes her just the tiniest bit less angry.

Before she knows it, Puck's got her smiling and she takes some flour and dumps it over his head with a laugh. They have a mini food fight and for a couple of seconds, Quinn just feels like a teenage girl playing around with a boy.

Then Finn walks in and interrupts and Quinn remembers what she has to do tonight, and her smile drops. Finn gives her a funny look and glances back and forth between her and Puck. Quinn just laughs like everything is fine. It's so far from fine it's not even funny, but she's a Fabray, she's good at pretending.

...

...

She ignores everyone for the rest of the day. Santana gets a few digs in that Quinn doesn't bother to respond too. She knows that she'll get her back eventually. A freshman cheerleader looks like she is about to try and slushie Quinn, but catches the glare Quinn gives her and falters before running away. Social pariah or not, people are always going to be afraid of Quinn Fabray if she has anything to say about it.

The day goes by so much faster than Quinn would like and before she knows it, she's pulling a half-haphazardly dressed up Finn into the dining room.

The moron has brought a boom box. He starts _singing_ to her. Before he finishes the song, her parents finally clue in and Quinn can see her father seething.

She _tries_ , she tries so hard to get the words out that it will be okay. That she just messed up but that she can fix it, Finn can fix it. It isn't as bad as everyone thinks, _it can't be_.

Her father goes silent and her mother won't look her in the eye. Quinn begs and cries and Finn just stands there like an idiot looking at his shoes.

Her father calls her a whore and gives her thirty minutes to pack.

She looks to her mother, but Judy turns and follows Russell without a word and something inside of Quinn breaks for good.

For the first time in maybe his whole life, Finn takes initiative. Quinn can't see through her tears and her father is still yelling downstairs. Finn grabs her Cheerios duffle bag and starts throwing clothes in it, asking her which things she needs. She doesn't remember what Finn yells, but something he says snaps her out of it and she starts packing another bag.

The next thing she knows, Finn is holding her hand, carrying two huge bags full of all her things and leading her out of her house. Her father is still screaming and she can see tears in her mother's eyes, but she doesn't make a single move to help Quinn.

Quinn clutches to Finn like her life depends on it, and for the first time she can remember in the four months they've dated, his presence makes her feel better. Safer somehow, or at least a tiny bit less alone.

...

...

Finn has already told his mother--without Quinn's permission--so when they show up with her bags in tow Carole only sighs and starts making up the couch.

Finn let's her take his bed and he sleeps on the couch. It's a nice gesture but doesn't help Quinn get any sleep.

His house is small and cramped and smells weird. The pressure in the shower is horrible, Quinn hates the food Carole cooks, and Finn just takes up _so much space._ She can't get a moment alone in the tiny quarters.

She doesn't know which is worse; being at school where everyone is constantly talking about her, or being at Finn's where he and Carole are there every single minute.

...

...

Finn is there in a way that is constantly annoying, somehow Puck is there in a way that's not. He gives her a book of baby names (that he stole) and Quinn can't help but... wonder.

She is absolutely not keeping this baby _now._ She is not going to marry Finn. She is going to have it--it's always an _it_ when she thinks about it, never anything more--and give it to someone who wants it. Then she is going to put this entire ordeal behind her and pretend it never happened. As far as her parents... she doesn't know yet, but get rid of _it_ is first on the to-do list.

She cannot imagine living at Finn's house with his mother and attempting to raise it. The house is too small for the three of them already, add in a baby and the Hudson's limited funds? Quinn can't do it.

If her parents had approved (had helped at all) she and Finn could have gotten married. Maybe her father would have bought them their own house; Quinn could have done it. But _now?_ No chance in hell.

But... the book Puck gives her makes her pause. Him continually hounding her about it makes her wonder if maybe, just maybe she's made a mistake in choosing Finn.

She's only fifteen, but she's not stupid, these are life changing decisions that she is making. Perhaps she owes it to Puck to at least consider him.

It's unsurprisingly easy to convince Kurt Hummel to makeover Rachel Berry and distract Finn. Both of them without doubt moon all over her boyfriend and if one of them doesn't distract him, the other will.

She gets a job babysitting Terri Schuester's nephews and asks Puck if he'd like to come help her. Despite how he's been lately, she's a little surprised when he agrees.

The kids are seven year old triplets _from hell_ and within twenty minutes of their parents leaving, they have Quinn and Puck tied up.

“How could you let three little boys overpower you? You're on the football team.” Quinn sneers while yanking at the jump ropes keeping her bound to a chair.

“I didn't see _you_ putting in much effort.”

“I'm pregnant!” Quinn snaps. She catches Puck texting instead of trying to get them free. “Who are you talking to _right now_?” She asks. “Help me get out of this.”

“Mike.” He says. “And chill, I've got an idea.”

They manage to get untied and Puck whips out his guitar. Quinn's skeptical at first but starts singing. All three boys quiet down and Quinn grins, dancing a little while Puck smiles at her. _This isn't so bad_. She thinks.

...

...

The next day, Santana practically mauls her in the hallway. “Stay away from Puckerman, he's mine.” She growls. Quinn only scoffs, but when Santana tells her Puck was sexting with her all night, Quinn clenches her teeth and storms away to find him.

She and Santana were barely friends to begin with, and now that she's off the Cheerios Santana's only gotten worse. She takes Quinn down a peg every opportunity she gets. Quinn doesn't have the time or the patience to deal with her shit.

She finds Puck and grabs his phone before he can even begin to protest and sees that Santana was telling the truth.

“Look, I'm not a one woman kind of dude.” Is all he says in his defense. Quinn can't believe she ever seriously considered giving him a chance.

...

...

Rachel finds them a real commercial and Quinn actually gets excited about it. Almost nothing has been fun recently and dancing around on a bunch of mattresses and getting to be on tv is pretty cool.

For half a minute, Quinn forgets Rachel is vying for her boyfriend and she's somewhat less annoying than usual.

It doesn't last long.

But it lasts long enough that when yearbook pictures come around and Quinn's left out of the Cheerios, and Rachel's upset about Glee club not getting a picture; Quinn does something about it.

It's not for _Rachel_. It's for herself. Rachel just spurns the idea for her. It's easy to convince (blackmail) Coach but once she gets the go ahead to be in the Cheerios photo; she doesn't want it.

Being shoved shamefully into the background of a group that doesn't want her...it's not what Quinn needs. Glee is _stupid_ , but... they care. Or _they don't_. They don't care that Quinn is pregnant, they don't care that she's a bitch, she's one of them.

It's more than anyone else is giving her right now.

...

...

Quinn begins to get used to the cramped Hudson household. She ignores Puck and tells Santana to shove it and for once, she actually listens.

It just starts to feel like _maybe_ the world isn't caving in on itself when Rachel tells Finn that Puck is the father.

Puck apparently told Mercedes a week or so ago, and Mercedes doesn't keep her mouth shut for long. The whole glee club knew within a few days, save Rachel and Finn. The second Berry finds out, she blurts it out in front of everyone and Quinn forgets to breathe.

Understandably, Finn flips out.

Quinn cries, because her hormones are all out of whack and _everything_ makes her cry these days. Finn kicks a bunch of chairs and everyone takes a few steps back from him. Rachel looks like maybe, just maybe, opening her big trap of a mouth wasn't the greatest idea.

Quinn just leaves the choir room.

Of all the people to come looking for her, she's not surprised that it's Rachel. Quinn  _is_ surprised that she isn't angry at her.

Rachel offers up her face ripe for punching--pleading not the nose--and waits, ready to take whatever Quinn wants to dish out. Quinn doesn't like her, she never has, but... her dislike lessens in that moment. She should be furious, Rachel just ruined her life. Quinn's now effectively homeless and completely alone and the reason Rachel did it is wanting to get into Finn's pants.

“I'm not mad at you.” Quinn says softly. She watches Rachel falter, confused and wary. After a minute, Rachel hesitantly sits down beside her. Quinn looks forward and let's her hands brush against her now bulging stomach. “All you did was what I wasn't brave enough to do, tell the truth.”

“I'm still sorry. It wasn't my place to say.”

It's _true_ and while Quinn's not actually angry, she doesn't want to hang out with Rachel Berry. “Can you leave me alone now?” She asks, trying to keep her voice from sounding too harsh. Rachel just nods, apologizes yet again and walks down the hall.

Quinn only gets about a minute to herself before Puck walks up to her. She knows what he's going to ask before he says a word and she wonders just when she began understanding Noah Puckerman so well.

“I want us to try this for real. I'm sorry about being a douche earlier, Santana and I aren't really hanging out anymore and I –-”

“-– No.”

“Quinn...”

“No.” She repeats firmly. Puck's shoes squeak against the linoleum floor and Quinn finally looks up and catches his eye. She takes a breath. “I need a place to live. Will your mom let me move in until it's born?”

“I... yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Quinn...”

“We're not dating Puck. I need a place to live.”

“Okay.” He nods. “Are we... are we gonna keep it?” He almost whispers.

“I don't know.” Quinn answers honestly.

...

...

Puck's mother does _not_ like her. Quinn understands that a large part of this is because she is incredibly not jewish. It also probably has a lot to do with the whole, 'being pregnant with Puck's baby thing'. Quinn needs a place to live, so she holds her tongue. But if Gina Puckerman genuinely blames _her_ rather than her son who's slept with half the school _and_ lonely housewives of Lima; double standards are truly alive and well.

Quinn has to share a room with Puck's little sister, Sarah. She's ten years old and Quinn's pretty sure she's friends with Brittany's little sister, Maya. There are bunk beds in her room, Sarah prefers the top which is just fine with Quinn. Lugging her fat ass up there isn't something Quinn wants to bother trying.

Puck's house is a bit bigger than Finn's, but not by a lot. Sharing a room with his little sister doesn't give her much alone time at all, but at least Gina doesn't hover the way Carole did.

Quinn is well aware that Puck wants the two of them to date and keep the baby. Quinn can't handle  _anything_ right now besides avoiding Finn at all costs, listening to her doctor, and study. She's always been smart (much smarter than people think she is) and right now throwing herself into school is all she's got.

She drives to and from school with Puck, everyone assumes they are dating now. Quinn doesn't bother correcting anyone, no one listens to her right now anyway.

Quinn watches Sarah in the afternoons. Puck has football practice and Gina doesn't get home until after five. Sarah used to go to the old woman next door or Brittany's house, but Gina likes the idea of free babysitting.

Quinn doesn't mind much, as far as kids go Sarah's alright. Puck drops them both off, heads back to practice and Quinn's left alone with Sarah for a little over two hours.

At first Sarah was shy or just ignored Quinn, and Quinn followed her example. She's never spent much time with kids. Done a few babysitting jobs here and there once her mother deemed her old enough, but she still finds kids unnerving for the most part.

Where Puck is cocky and smug, Sarah is shy and sweet and Quinn warms up to her within a week. The two of them fall into a routine rather quickly. Quinn likes to get her homework over with straight away--it's easier to do without Puck and Gina around. Sarah takes to following her lead after a few days. They come home, pull out their books at the kitchen table, Quinn gets them both a small snack, plays some music and they do their work. Usually, they're done within an hour or so--Sarah always before Quinn--and then they watch tv until Puck and Gina get home.

Quinn avoids being alone with Gina whenever possible. And she makes it _very_ clear that she has no interest in a repeat performance with Puck. Gina doesn't seem to believe her until over a month has gone by and she never catches them together with no pants on.

Puck stops asking if they're keeping it-- _her--_ she finds out it's going to be a her. Puck grins and says they should name her Jackie Daniels, but mercifully, stops asking her what they are going to do.

...

...

School doesn't get any better, but it doesn't get too much worse. People have gotten used to Quinn being pregnant, it's become old news.

Rachel is dating some slimy kid from Carmel High school, Finn's a jealous idiot, Kurt's _definitely_ gay, and for a hot second Puck tries to date Mercedes.

Quinn catches Santana seething and warns Mercedes to be careful. She passes out and Quinn knows what a crazy Sue Sylvester diet looks like when she sees it and tells Mercedes so.

Now that she's been to the doctor's, she understands how the food she eats literally helps the growing baby inside of her. She can't believe she ever abused food the way she did. Appearances are one thing, being healthy is quite another. She's not sure why she never gave Mercedes Jones a chance before this, they actually get along. The two of them start sitting near each other in glee without really discussing it and just like that...they're friends. It's weird and Quinn doesn't understand it, but nothing in the last couple of months has made sense. This is just another one of them.

The weirdest thing that comes from it is Santana starts following her around school shouting insults again. It's not that Santana is throwing insults around--that's is the most normal thing in the world--it's the _way_ she is doing it.

Weirder still is when she starts showing up at Puck's house when he's not there. She drops by while Quinn and Sarah are doing homework, raids the Puckerman's fridge and complains about everything with her feet up on the table. When she pulls the math homework Quinn is trying to finish away from her, Quinn finally snaps.

“Why are you here!?” She yells as she snatches her paper back. “You've been here three days in a row, if you want to bang Puck so badly, wait until he's here.”

“I don't want to bang Puckerman.” Santana says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

It's then that Quinn realizes Santana is here _for her_ . It's so shocking she doesn't even know what to say for a minute or so. This has never been their relationship. They were always friends of convenience rather than people who enjoyed each others company. The two hottest girls in school, it's just the way things work. But, now that Quinn thinks about it, they _are_ more alike than she's ever realized.

The question is, does she want Santana's friendship? Sitting there listening to the girl insult her doesn't really sound like a pleasant afternoon, but the insults have all been mostly harmless as of late. And it's not like she's got a lot of people who _want_ to hang out with her.

Quinn pushes Santana's own homework in front of her. “Good, he tends to forget condoms.”

Santana snorts and steals one of Quinn's apple slices. “ _I'm_ smart enough to bring my own.”

Quinn throws a grape at her head. “Bitch”

And just like that, she and Santana finally become friends for real.

...

...

The glee club is full of more drama than the Cheerios ever was. Everyone is making out with everyone, Rachel's friggin' birth mother pops out of the woodwork, Mr Schue can't be their coach anymore, and Quinn is _incredibly_ uncomfortable in her own body. That's nothing exactly new, but it's certainly different nowadays.

Quinn goes with Rachel and Mercedes to spy on Vocal Adrenaline. Mercedes is tentatively friends with Rachel and Quinn has nothing better to do.

When Rachel recognizes Shelby's voice and walks down the auditorium like a maniac, Quinn almost tries to grab her. Finding out that Shelby is Rachel's mother is a shock to everyone, but it hits Quinn in a way she can't quite comprehend.

Puck stole another book full of baby names and left it on her bed this morning.

She and Rachel _aren't friends_ , but all Quinn wants to do is ask Rachel about Shelby. She finds herself paying much closer attention to Rachel than she ever has in her whole life. Even Santana reaches over and smacks her while the boys are doing their Gaga song. Quinn just glares at her.

When they are done rehearsing Quinn follows Rachel out of the auditorium. “Wait up!” She yells. Rachel stops and pulls her sunglasses down, looking confused. “Umm...” Quinn suddenly can't remember what the hell she is doing. “I like your new costume.” Is the only thing that comes out of her mouth.

Rachel shyly looks down and shrugs, a smile creeping onto her face. “Thanks. My mom made it.”

“Yeah, you said.” Quinn flips her hair out of her face and stares at Rachel. “You call her your mom? I mean... Rachel you met her _yesterday_. I was there.”

“I...” Rachel crosses her arms in front of her, shifting her weight awkwardly. “I don't think that's any of your business Quinn. As you've said before, we're not friends.”

“Don't be so dramatic Rachel.” Before Quinn can say another word, Rachel performs one of her annoying storm outs. Quinn rolls her eyes and chases after her. “Rachel!” She yells. “Don't make me run after you I'm pregnant and in pumps!”

Rachel ceases stomping down the hall and turns around. “You shouldn't be wearing four inch pumps while pregnant!” She says indignantly.

“Yeah well, lesson learned.”

“I feel like maybe you should have known that ahead of time.”

Quinn bits the side of her cheek to stop from saying something that will just make Rachel storm away again.

“Yeah well... I don't exactly have people telling me how to do this--besides what my doctor says. She mostly talks about food and sleep.”

“Both very important.” Rachel says with a nod.

“So she tells me.” Quinn's feet are killing her and she's having a hard time hiding it from Rachel. To her credit, Rachel doesn't say anything – just walks over and sits down on a bench. Quinn follows her lead gratefully. Neither of them say anything for a moment. All Quinn wants to do is yank the shoes off, but being barefoot at school would be undignified. Her parents voices forever in her head prevent her from even thinking about it.

Rachel kicks her shoes off without a thought. “Have you... I mean, does Noah's mother...”

“Not a chance in hell. She uses me for free babysitting, I help with laundry, dishes, whatever she wants and she looks at me like I'm a slut.”

Rachel's eyes narrow. “I was under the impression that this --” she points to Quinn's stomach, “-– was the one and only time you'd engaged in intercourse.”

“Why can't you just talk like a _person_?” Quinn asks. “Everyone would hate you a lot less. And yeah--not that is't _any_ of your business, it was.”

“Sorry I... I have an extensive vocabulary. My fathers were extraordinarily eager to raise me right, they may have gone a _little_ overboard with some things. It--it feels like pretending to be something I'm not, dumbing myself down if I don't...” She sighs and trails of with a shy shrug.

“No I--I get it.” She _does._ Quinn's at the top of their class, everyone assumes because she is a cheerleader she doesn't know how to find the square root of a triangle.

They are both quiet for a moment and Quinn begins to wonder why the hell she followed Rachel out here. This is possibly the longest (most cordial) conversation the two of them have ever shared.

“They've been wonderful parents.” Rachel finally says. Quinn looks over at her in confusion. “I... I've never felt like I was lacking in anything. Not exactly. I just... I just wondered who she was. It wasn't--it isn't that I don't love them. It's just that I was curious about her.”

Quinn's throat closes up of it's own accord and suddenly--intensely--she _cannot_ be here anymore. She stands up without saying a thing to Rachel and sprints down the hall as fast as the ridiculous shoes and her bulging stomach will allow.

On instinct she sends up a thank you to a god she hasn't spoken to in months that Rachel doesn't follow her.

...

...

Quinn can't avoid Rachel forever. They're both in AP classes and Rachel tries to get her attention more than once during Math _and_ History. Quinn keeps her gaze forward and bolts out of the classrooms the second the bell rings.

She's not proud of it at all, but she uses Santana as a shield. Unbeknownst to Santana of course, but it does the job. Rachel starts toward her, but hesitates once Quinn rests up against Santana's locker casually. Santana starts complaining about something Artie did in practice yesterday without even looking up at Quinn; and Rachel turns and walks the other way. Quinn breathes a sigh of relief and gives Santana her full attention.

...

...

Before Glee starts Quinn goes to dump her books in her locker. As she opens the door, a book she's never before seen falls out onto the floor. Bending over has become something she is incapable of doing, but she maneuvers the book into her arms eventually.

It's a pregnancy book. Not one of the baby name things Puck keeps stealing, but one of those 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' type things. Confused, Quinn opens it and finds a neat handwritten message inside.

_I figured this might have instructions about appropriate times to wear heels during a pregnancy. I realize this is a little late in the game, and I'm sorry I didn't think of it beforehand, but it has a great deal of information about after the pregnancy as well. I don't know what your plans are, but I thought having all the information at your disposal couldn't hurt. Thank you for yesterday._

– _Rachel_

It's the single kindest thing anyone has done for her since she found out she was pregnant. And of course, thanks to her hormones she bursts into tears.

Quinn absolutely refuses to go to Glee looking like this, so she takes the book and heads straight to the girls bathroom. 

She settles down after a few minutes, but remains where she is in the stall and flips through the book. A good chunk of it is irrelevant now, the rest of it is _terrifying_. Quinn reads it cover to cover with shaky hands then emerges from the stall, splashes water on her face and goes to find Puck.

He's coming out of the boys locker room, freshly showered from practice. His eyebrows go up at the sight of her and he slings his duffle bag over his shoulder. “Still here?” He asks. “I thought you were getting a ride with Santana.”

“I was, I mean I was reading this book Rachel gave me.” She shrugs as they walk out to Puck's car.

Puck throws his bag into the backseat and helps Quinn into the car--she's nearly ready to pop and everything is difficult these days. “You and Rachel are friends?”

“What? No.” Quinn barks.

Puck just shrugs and turns the car on. “I like her.”

Quinn doesn't respond.

...

...

She falls asleep reading the book Rachel gave her. When she wakes up to pee around midnight, it falls on her foot and she has to bite back a curse not to wake Sarah.

She sleeps past her alarm. When Sarah gently shakes her awake the book is pressing into her back. “Shit” Quinn moans.

“You owe me a quarter.” Sarah pronounces. “That was a swear.”

“Help me up and I'll give you a dollar.” Quinn says and holds out her arms. Sarah grins and pulls Quinn upright--with great effort. Quinn shuffles toward the bathroom to relieve her bladder and comes back to find Sarah flipping through her book. 

“Are you gonna keep her?” She asks quietly.

Quinn's breath hitches. No one has asked her that question in about two months and she'd been enjoying not thinking about it at all.

“Um...”

“Noah wants too. I don't know what my mom wants but I think it'd be cool to be an aunt.”

“We're gonna be late for school.” Quinn takes the book from Sarah and puts a dollar bill in it's place.

...

...

Puck names her.

_Beth._

He says the word out loud and sings a song and the name etches itself into Quinn's brain forever. She _hates_ him for it.

...

...

Quinn stuffs herself into the costume for Regionals. She looks ridiculous compared to the other girls.

She sits as the entire club begins to panic once they realize their set list has been leaked. Of course, everyone blames Santana. Surprisingly, Rachel comes to her defense. Quinn just adds to it and glares at Finn before he can insist it was Santana.

Her stomach has been bothering her all morning. She figures it's just nerves.

They pull a new set list out of their asses. Quinn's never been this nervous to perform in her life. If they can pull this off it's going to be a miracle.

Quinn listens to Rachel belt out 'Don't Rain on My Parade' and despite her aching stomach, she feels giddy and full of adrenaline. The lights shine in her eyes, but she dances her ass off and keeps up with the rest of the girls. It's the most fun she's ever crammed into six minutes.

As they're making their way off stage, someone grabs Quinn's arm and stops her. She turns and meets her mother's face and freezes. Santana plants herself defiantly behind Quinn, staring Judy down.

Her mother tells her that she's kicked her father out, that she will help her with the baby, that she's sorry and Quinn pees herself 

Judy gasps and Santana starts laughing until everyone realizes it's not pee, _her water has broken_.

Someone shoves her into a wheelchair and the next thing she knows, the entire glee club is rushing her to the hospital.

The nurse stops them as everyone tries to follow Quinn into the delivery room. “Only one of you can go with her.” She says. Quinn reaches out and grips Santana's arm tightly. Santana only nods and follows along with Puck and Judy.

...

...

If she thought having sex with Puck had made her feel like her body was ripping in half, she must have _really_ been drunk.

Nothing has _ever_ hurt this much and all she remembers is screaming at Puck and crying for her mother. It takes far too long and yet somehow is over before she knows it. She lets out a final grunt and flops back down into the bed in exhaustion. Her mother brushes stray hair out of her eyes and Quinn watches Puck and Santana hover over by the nurses.

“You did wonderfully.” Judy says, and presses a kiss to Quinn's temple.

The doctor walks over and gently passes over a bundle and rests the baby in Quinn's arms. _Her baby_. Her daughter. Beth.

Quinn can't believe how small she is. It's...she can't stop staring at her.

The nurses take her back and weigh her, clean her up some more and start asking questions about the birth certificate. Puck hesitates when they ask about adoption and Quinn starts to say yes. They are giving her up, they're fifteen years old, they _cannot_ possibly do this. Despite her mother's declarations a few hours ago, Quinn doesn't know how much she believes her.

She opens her mouth to say 'yes'. Puck knows it's coming, Santana expects it, and from the look on her mother's face and everyone else in the room--they expect it as well.

She opens her mouth to say 'yes' but what comes out is “ _No_.” Puck's head whips around to her so fast she thinks he injures his neck. “No, I'm keeping her.”

...

...

She spends the next three nights in the hospital, learning to nurse the baby and sleeping as much as possible. Puck is there almost the entire time, whenever Quinn's not holding Beth, Puck is.

They lose at Regionals. Quinn's disappointed, but it's pretty low on the list of things she is thinking about right now.

Puck lets everyone up to see Beth in the nursery the second night. His mother and sister come along with all Quinn's things packed up and hand them over to Judy. Gina appears to have mixed feelings about her granddaughter but she beams when she holds her. Sarah climbs up onto the bed next to Quinn and kisses her cheek. “We're family for real now.” She whispers.

Quinn smiles at her. “Yep.”

...

...

The night before Quinn and Beth are ready to go home, Rachel visits for the first time. Puck has finally let his mother drag him home and Judy wanted to get things ready for Beth.

Beth's asleep in Quinn's arms, and she's not far behind when Rachel knocks lightly on the doorframe. “Sorry, I can come back if you want to sleep.” She says. “I meant to get here earlier, but Finn took me on a... um, I was delayed.”

“Your dating Finn now?” Quinn jeers.

“I...”

“If you want to be my guest, but... I mean there are better guys out there.”

Rachel shrugs and lowers herself into the seat next to Quinn's bed. “Not for me.”

“ _God_ Rachel, we're fifteen you're not in love with him.”

“I didn't--that's not what I meant. He's...no one _else_ is interested and I like him.” She leans forward and coos quietly at Beth. “Quinn she's... she's beautiful.”

“I know.” Quinn whispers. They are both silent for a moment before Quinn sits up and gently places Beth in her little bed. “Thank you.” She says. Rachel looks up at her in question. “For the book.” Quinn explains. “It helped.”

“I'm glad.” Rachel says with a smile. “So, are you and Puck...”

“God no.”

“Really?”

Quinn shakes her head. “He's not--I mean I can't even _think_ about that right now. Or, I couldn't. I don't know, right now I still can't.”

“I get it.”

“Sorry we lost. Your solo was amazing, we were great. We should have won.”

Rachel beams when Quinn complements her and for the first time Quinn can remember, Rachel looks kind of pretty. “We should have at _least_ placed second. Vocal Adrenaline performed very well.”

“Have you... what did Shelby think?” Quinn asks tentatively. She watches Rachel squirm before answering. She keeps her eyes on Beth's sleeping form rather than Quinn.

“She's... she doesn't really want to be my mother.” Rachel whispers so quietly Quinn can barely hear her. “She didn't realize I'd be so grown up, she felt like she missed out on too much.” She shrugs and Quinn can see tears building up in her eyes. Comfort is not something Quinn excels at, so she just remains still and tries not to look uninterested. “It's probably for the best anyway.” Rachel adds with a shrug. Quinn watches as she stands up and moves closer towards the door. “I've met her which is what I wanted. It's getting late though, I'd better get going and let you get some sleep.” Rachel points to Beth, “she really is beautiful.” And with that, she's out the door and Quinn is alone again.

...

...

She's brought into the hospital in a wheelchair and she's brought out the same way. Except this time she's in sweats and not stuffed into a costume dress and there is a baby in her arms instead of her uterus.

Her mother has bought a car seat and spends a few minutes fussing over Beth and showing Quinn how to lock her in properly. When they pull up to their house, Quinn holds her breath. She hasn't been here in over five months and the fact that it looks exactly the same when so much has changed makes her angry.

She walks inside slowly, letting her mother carry Beth. It does feel different inside. The lack of her father's presence is palpable and it hits Quinn at once.

Judy has made up the guest bedroom into a nursery for Beth in the last three days. It's modest and thrown together, but Quinn likes it.

Judy sets a sleeping Beth down into the crib and stands next to Quinn as they watch her. “It's almost summer.” Judy hums. “I've made arrangements for you to take your finals here with a tutor.”

“Really?” Quinn has honestly forgotten about school.

Judy nods. “I'm _so_ sorry Quinnie.” She whispers a minute later. Quinn looks and her mother is crying. She looks older somehow, like she's aged five years in the last five months. Quinn _hasn't_ forgiven her, she doesn't know when that will happen, but... she's not as angry as she was.

“Thank you.” She manages to say.

“This is going to be hard.” Judy warns. “I'll help you as much as I can, but it's going to be _hard_.”

“I know.” Quinn stays in Beth's room long after her mother has gone downstairs. In the book Rachel gave her, it said to sleep when the baby sleeps. Quinn takes the baby monitor and pads down the hall to her room. It's unchanged, she can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

She flops down onto the bed and pulls out her phone. Santana has left her two messages that are mostly just insults/saying hello. Brittany left her one asking what a hug from a spider would feel like since they've got so many arms; and Puck's asks what time he can come over to help with Beth tomorrow. She replies to all three of them, then turns her phone on silent, closes her eyes and enjoys the peace and quiet.

 She's almost gotten herself to sleep when the baby cries.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos, I'm glad people seem to have an interest in this story, I'm really excited about it. Happy St. Patrick's day to any fellow Irish people out there:) This chapter covers Quinn's junior year, and the next and final chapter in this part of the story should be up sometime next week. Enjoy!

Quinn is finding that having a one month old really curbs your ability to hang out with people.

Studying for her finals and getting up every few hours to feed Beth is  _exhausting_. If her mother hadn't thought ahead to make her pump and take over feeding with a bottle every once in a while, Quinn thinks she might have died from sleep deprivation within the first week.

She has no idea how, but Beth has been alive for an entire month and nine days and Quinn has aced every single one of her finals.

Santana's jealous.

Puck comes over almost every afternoon and gives Beth a bottle and Quinn a chance to nap. He and Quinn have become sort of awkward around each other. She's not quite sure why, they lived together the last few months without any weirdness. Quinn doesn't have the energy to figure out what his deal is, so she just passes Beth over and goes up to her room.

Judy and Gina sit down with Quinn and Puck to make sure they know how to hold the baby properly, how to set her down correctly to sleep, and how to feed her once they bring Beth home. Judy refused to leave Puck alone with Beth the first two weeks, but now, he's a pro. He can hold her with one hand and play video games with the other. But the second she needs a diaper change, he mysteriously has to go home.

Beth is weird. She's just this tiny, pink thing that  _screams_  and  _needs_  and Quinn doesn't understand her  _at all_.

Overall, Quinn sort of hates her. Which makes her feel  _horrible_  especially when Puck adores her so openly. She doesn't breathe a word about it to anyone, but Santana figures it out by week three.

"Dude, no shit you don't like her! All she does is cry and poop, she's not interesting yet. Hell, she's not even  _cute_ , she looks like a demented alien. I remember when Britt's sister was born, we hated her until she got cute when she was like... I dunno a year or something."

"A year! I can't hate my baby for a  _year_."

Santana just shrugs. "You've got hormones designed to make you like her or something, I'm sure they'll kick in soon." Santana grimaces and flicks Quinn's breast pump. "You really stick this thing on your boobs?"

"Put it down." Quinn snarls. She is pretty sure the only reason Santana comes around anymore is because Britt has become  _fascinated_  by Beth. The two of them are legitimately friends now but Santana has her limits, and a screaming baby is one of them. Said baby is currently asleep in Brittany's arms and Santana's been itching to leave since the moment they got here. Quinn's used to it at this point. Everyone in glee club has come by once--some twice, but the newness of the baby got old real fast. She seldom talks to Mercedes anymore and she missed the end of the year party Puck threw. Quinn's pretty sure if it weren't for Brittany wanting to see the baby, she wouldn't see Santana again until school starts back up.

It's lonely.

Puck just wants to come in, hold Beth, feed her and then pass her back over and leave. He's been having parties every Friday and hanging out with Finn and the other boys just about every day. Whatever's going on with the two of them, Quinn's getting sick of Puck ignoring her.

When he shows up one afternoon mid July Quinn screams at him. Beth has been inconsolable all morning and her mom is out getting her real estate license renewed, and Quinn is at her wits end. Puck shows up laughing, sipping a beer and talking about a 'killer party' he's gonna have this weekend. Quinn  _loses it_.

"WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS TOGETHER!" Beth is crying even harder in Quinn's arms and Puck pauses, the bottle a hair away from his lips. " _YOU_  are the one who wanted her!"

"What!?" He finally drops the dopey grin and looks angry. Good. Quinn's angry too. "You are the one who said we were keeping her. I left it up to you."

"You made it very clear that you wanted her Puck."

"What so now you don't?" He spits out at her. "Of course not, you are just that horrible of a person." He laughs cruelly and Quinn almost drops Beth she's so mad.

"Shut up." She hisses through clenched teeth. "That is not what I'm saying at all.  _You_  wanted her. I wanted her too, I  _still_  want her. I'm just saying that for someone who was so excited, who hounded me for  _months_ , I expected a hell of a lot more help."

"I'm here like almost every day! Well... a couple days a week at least!"

"You pop it and hold her for like half an hour, watch tv and then leave! I can't  _sleep_  Puck."

"I dunno what you want from me Quinn, I'm sixteen."

"SO AM I." She screams.

"SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He yells back. Beth finally lets out a wail that Quinn can't ignore and she forces herself to calm down. Taking a breath, she readjusts her hold on Beth and kisses her temple, cooing as Beth cries.

"I want..." Quinn brushes a tear off Beth's face. "I want you to actually  _help me_. Stop throwing parties and getting smashed every weekend and come help for more than an hour."

"Fine."

"And don't fucking drink when you're here." Quinn snarls, all of the sudden furious all over again. Puck balks for a moment but then walks over and pours the rest of his drink out in the sink. "How many of those have you already had?" She asks him.

"That was the first. I'm sorry I was just..."

"I don't care." Quinn snaps. "You're really sober?" She asks. Puck nods and Quinn makes up her mind in a flash. Beth has calmed herself down for the most part, and she's due for a bottle anyway. Quinn pulls one out of the refrigerator and warms it up in the microwave, testing it against her hand to make sure it's not too hot. She hands Beth and the bottle over to Puck and walks upstairs. Pulling off the ratty t-shirt and cloth shorts she had on, Quinn slips on a sundress instead, yanks her hair back into a braid and applies some light makeup. She grabs her cell phone and purse and heads back downstairs. Puck is sitting on the couch feeding Beth. "I'm going to Santana's." Quinn announces. Puck looks up at her in surprise, finally taking in her appearance. "You are going to take care of Beth for the afternoon. She should take a nap after you feed her, and she'll need a diaper change before  _and_  after the nap. You know where everything is, I'll probably be back after dinner. She'll need another bottle around five and she'll most likely fall asleep again after that.  _Do not_ , drink any alcohol while you are taking care of her, my mom's not going to be back until late. And don't call me unless it is an emergency and do  _not_  invite anyone over here." She says rapidly, spitting out her words before Puck has a chance to protest.

"Wait..."

"You're her dad Puck, be her dad." She means to say it like an order, but it comes out more like a plea.

She waits, thinking he is going to try and get out of it but after a second, Puck just nods. "See ya later."

The tension Quinn was holding in her shoulders relaxes. She had been almost sure Puck would flip out and leave. Before she can think about it any further, Quinn grabs her keys and walks out the door. She drives to Santana's house and hesitates in the driveway. She doesn't know if Santana is even home. She should have called first.

Quinn goes to knock on the door and steps back as it opens before she gets the chance. Brittany is standing in the doorway clad in a  _very_  tiny bikini. "Quinn!" She yells in elation and throws her body around Quinn's. "You're out of your house!" Brittany steps back, but keeps Quinn's hand in hers, looking behind her. "Where's Beth?" She asks excitedly.

"Puck's watching her. I needed a break."

"Oh." Brittany looks disappointed for a moment, but bounces back and swings Quinn's hand in her own. "Are you coming swimming with us!?"

Santana shows up--also in a bathing suit, but at least wearing some shorts--and smirks at Quinn. "Q, where's your lizard baby?" She asks in way of a greeting.

Quinn glares at her in response.

"Wanna come swim at Britt's?" Santana asks. Quinn just follows them out to her car, and smacks Santana's hand away when she starts fiddling with her radio.

"I don't have a suit." She announces once they arrive at Brittany's.

"Oh, you can borrow one of mine!" Brittany grabs her hand and pulls Quinn upstairs while Santana lets herself out to the pool.

Quinn stands awkwardly as Brittany digs through her things and produces a string bikini that Quinn wouldn't have worn even if she  _hadn't_  given birth less than two months ago. Brittany holds it up with a smile and Quinn just shakes her head. "I don't... I'm still, Britt I can't wear that."

Brittany frowns. "Why not? It's just me and Santana." She says with a shrug.

"Yeah and I'm still super fat and that covers like nothing and I'm not swimming with Santana wearing that!"

"But you guys are friends now, she won't make fun of you." Quinn quirks her eyebrow at Brittany, who just sighs. "Fine, I'll find a different one."

The second bathing suit she produces isn't much better than the first but Quinn puts it on anyway. The stretch marks painfully stick out and Quinn pinches a fat roll on her stomach. Brittany skips over and pulls Quinn's arms away as she tries to cover herself up. Before Quinn can protest, Brittany bends down and kisses Quinn's stomach. She's done this once before, when Quinn was pregnant with Beth and crying about something Puck's mother said to her. It surprises Quinn just as much as the first time and she just stands there.

"Britt... Beth isn't in there anymore."

"I know!" Brittany grabs Quinn's hands and starts to pull her downstairs. "You're super pretty Quinn, don't be embarrassed."

"Can I have a t-shirt to wear?" Quinn asks. She watches Brittany's face fall a bit but can't help it. Whether it's just Santana and Brittany or not, Quinn can't even stand to look at her body when she's _alone_.

Brittany gives her a large t-shirt and pulls one on herself before running downstairs. Quinn smiles to herself and follows her.

Brittany jumps into the pool and splashes Santana with a giggle. Santana complains as she lounges in a chair, trying to get a tan.

"What are you bitches wearing t-shirts for?" She asks.

"We don't want to get sunburnt." Brittany supplies before Quinn can say anything. "It's the hottest part of the day right now, and Quinn's super pale I don't want her to get skin cancer."

Santana shoots Quinn a dubious look but doesn't respond. Quinn's eternally grateful.

They spend the afternoon dunking each other and racing the length of the pool. It's the most fun Quinn's had in months. She only thinks about Beth once, after they've climbed out to get snacks. Quinn picks up her phone and texts Puck, asking how it's going. He answers back a few moments later, telling her Beth's asleep but he's bored. Quinn tells him to watch a movie and jumps back into the pool, dunking Brittany with a squeal.

...

...

The rest of the summer starts to go by at full tilt. Puck helps out a bit more in the weeks to follow, but as the summer draws to a close his interest in Beth wanes.

Quinn's only sleeping somewhat better.

She has managed to hang out with Santana and Brittany a few more times; and on two separate occasions, Mercedes and Kurt join them.

Mostly though, Quinn rocks Beth, feeds Beth, sleeps when Beth sleeps and tries to lose weight. She puts Beth in her crib and does exercise tapes in the living room, like a stay at home mom.

On a morning when Judy is happily giving Beth a bath in the kitchen sink, Quinn decides to go for a run. She hasn't gone on one since being kicked off the Cheerios. She made a half hearted attempt after moving into Puck's, but running while pregnant was difficult and uncomfortable.

Quinn dons an old t-shirt and shorts, grabs her ipod and starts her old route around the block. By the time she's made it through one three minute song, she's already breathing heavily. She is so fucking out of shape.

It's disheartening when she has no choice but to give up and speed walk her way back home only partway through her normal route. She's wheezing by the time she walks through her front door and heads straight for a shower. Quinn decides then and there that she is going to go back to running every day.

When Puck shows up, instead of napping, Quinn heads out for a run. It takes over a week and a half until she manages to do her entire old route and it almost kills her.

By the end of the summer, Quinn can run the two miles she used to do every day while on the Cheerios almost at her old speed. She's lost about twenty pounds and is pretty close to looking how she did before she was pregnant. She's  _almost_  okay with going back to school looking like she does.

Judy Fabray has gotten her real estate license renewed and by August she's made her first sale in twenty-two years.

Puck throws his annual end of summer party and Quinn decides to go. Apart from hanging out occasionally with Santana and Brittany, and seeing Mercedes and Kurt once or twice – Quinn hasn't seen anyone this summer besides Puck, Sarah, her mother, and Beth. She's heard that Rachel and Finn have been dating all summer from Kurt and she finds herself bothered by the information. It's not exactly surprising, but it's annoying. For a second, Quinn thinks she's angry because she wants Finn back, but she immediately dismisses the idea.

Quinn hasn't spoken to or seen Rachel since the night she came to visit her in the hospital.

Judy agrees to watch Beth for the night, and Quinn plans on sleeping over at Santana's after the party. She pulls on a sundress, tucks her hair back with a headband, and walks into the party with her head held high. Puck is still popular and this is not just a party with the glee kids. Half the school is there and Quinn is nervous.

People stare as soon as they see her and Quinn's prepared for it. Her face is a mask of calm and superiority as she walks through the crowd. People whisper, but no one says much. Quinn takes it as a victory and accepts the drink handed to her. It's lemonade. Quinn's last real experience with alcohol landed her with Beth, whom she has to breastfeed later. So alcohol is out.

She smiles at Mike and Tina and gives Mercedes a wave as she passes by. Santana and Brittany are grinding with some guy she recognizes as on the football team but who's name escapes her at the moment. Quinn's not about to join them, but without them she finds herself at a loss.

It's annoying. Quinn Fabray has never felt awkward or uncomfortable around large groups of people before. She avoided them like the plague while pregnant, but now that things are back to normal... it's not the same.

She has to go to find the bathroom to hide the fact that she is  _lactating_  at a  _high school party_  and summarily crashes into Rachel Berry.

"Oh my gosh Quinn I'm sorry!"

"Watch where you're going Rachel!" Quinn hisses on instinct. Rachel steps back immediately and Quinn sighs. "It's fine." She goes to step around Rachel, but she grabs Quinn's arm.

"Finn's already in there." Rachel nods to the bathroom.

"Shit." Quinn holds her dress out and turns to go try the bathroom upstairs, but Rachel tightens her grip on Quinn's arm.

"How are you?" She asks tentatively.

"Trying not to lactate in front of the whole school, how are you?" She bites. Rachel glances down to her chest and Quinn resists the urge to cover herself up.

"Oh god, I think there is another bathroom upstairs." Rachel offers.

"Yeah Berry I know, I lived here remember?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Can you let go of my arm now?"

"Sorry!"

Quinn just heads upstairs, ignoring Rachel's apologies as she goes.

...

...

By the time Quinn comes back downstairs a large chunk of the party has left. People are busting out drinking games (mostly consisting of truth or dare) and Quinn is ready to go home. She thought that being here would make her feel normal again but all it does is make her feel even more left out. Santana and Brittany are kissing in front of two football players and Quinn sighs. All of the sudden, sleeping over with them doesn't seem like such a good idea.

She thinks about finding Mercedes, but after looking around some it appears that she's left already. Kurt's gone too.

Quinn walks outside, prepared to just walk home and get some sleep when she bumps into Rachel again. This time, she apologizes. Rachel laughs airily and waves her off.

"Are you going home?" Rachel asks her. Quinn nods and gives her a wave in dismissal. "Wait, where's your car? Oh, did you drink? That's very responsible of you not to drive Quinn, bravo."

"I didn't drink I just don't have my car." Quinn says with a frown. "I was gonna sleep over at Santana's."

"Oh... why aren't you?"

"Because they're trashed and probably gonna sleep with those guys they are currently making out with and I'd like to get some actual sleep."

Rachel grimaces a bit. "I hope they use protection." Quinn snorts at that. "I was about to walk home myself, Finn's staying here." Rachel adds.

"Good for Finn."

Rachel wraps her arms around herself as a breeze hits them. It's still warm out, but the night air makes it chilly enough to be the slightest bit uncomfortable. Quinn starts walking home and finds Rachel alongside her. They walk in silence, Quinn looking at the ground and Rachel keeping her gaze forward. Quinn doesn't know where Rachel lives, she thinks it might be near her house, but she's never bothered to find out.

"I'm sorry." Rachel says after almost ten minutes of silence. It startles Quinn enough to make her jump.

"For what?"

"Bringing up Finn..." Rachel shrugs. "I didn't mean--I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Quinn snorts. "I don't give a shit about whether or not you date Finn."

"You seemed to last year."

"Last year  _I_  was dating him. As a rule, someone trying to date the person you are  _already dating_ is an annoyance."

"I'm sorry about that." Rachel says softly, she sounds sincere. Quinn just glares at her. She takes a little pleasure in the way Rachel slinks into herself under Quinn's gaze.

They reach Quinn's house and she stops walking without warning. Rachel crashes into her for the third time that evening. "Seriously?" Quinn asks. Rachel's face reddens and Quinn stops her from apologizing yet again. "It's fine Berry just watch where you're going." Quinn points. "This is my house." She says awkwardly. Rachel just nods and shuffles her feet like she wants to say something. Quinn's tired and her boobs hurt, she needs to go feed Beth or pump. Above all, she just needs to  _sleep_  and Rachel needs to  _go_.

"How is she?" Rachel finally asks.

"Who? Beth?"

Rachel nods.

"Um... good I guess. She cries most of the time so it's hard to tell one way or the other." Quinn's not sure exactly where this small talk is going, but it isn't terrible. She's sick of being angry at the world all the time and she doesn't have the energy to be annoyed with Rachel Berry anymore. "Speaking of, I'd better get in there."

"Of course! I didn't mean to keep you."

Rachel looks up at Quinn's house and Quinn can tell there is something else the girl wants to say. "Spit whatever it is out Berry, I'm fucking  _tired_." She orders.

Rachel's face reddens again and she clasps her hands together. "I just wanted to ask if you were going to be joining us in glee club again this year?"

"Really?" Quinn hadn't thought about it much. She wants back on the Cheerios for sure. If she's ever going to get some standing back at McKinley, that's her best bet. The only reason she even joined Glee in the first place was to keep an eye on Finn with Rachel. The only reason she stayed was because they were the only people in her life that didn't shun her while she was pregnant. Now...Quinn doesn't know what to think. "I don't know." She answers honestly. "I hadn't really thought about it. I want to get back on the Cheerios." She's not quite sure why Rachel cares, other than making sure they have enough people to qualify.

"Well, I hope you stay with us too." Rachel says with a small smile. "You have a lovely alto--though you tend to go sharp every once in a while--it's perfectly fixable with a few pointers."

Quinn bites the inside of her cheek and resists the urge to smack Rachel.

"Good to know." Quinn turns and walks up the driveway. "Night Rachel." She calls over her shoulder.

...

...

She  _does_  end up back in glee club. She's not totally sure why, but out of habit or  _whatever_ , Quinn shows up. Rachel smiles at her and Quinn means to glare back, she really does, but it doesn't quite come out.

Coach lets her back on the Cheerios. She's got no choice once she sees that Quinn is back in fighting shape and no longer knocked up. Though she makes it  _very_  clear that there will be no exceptions made regarding attendance right off the bat.

If having Beth was hard during the summer, it becomes almost unbearable during the school year.

Since her mother is back at work and Quinn and Puck are both in school, Beth goes to daycare. Quinn picks her up as soon as glee club is over and attempts to do her homework with Beth until her mother gets home. Quinn passes Beth off and heads to Cheerios practice, gets her ass kicked by Coach, and comes home exhausted.

Getting Beth on any sort of regular sleep schedule is a nightmare. Not to mention leaving classes to pump breast milk is the most embarrassing thing Quinn has ever had to do save breastfeed in front of Santana one time. Her grades drop in all of her classes before September is even over.

Puck almost all but disappears.

Now that football and glee, plus the little he actually pays attention in school are there as distractions, Quinn sees him maybe once a week. He comes over on Sundays, hungover and plays with Beth during the afternoon.

Quinn is pretty sure she can't handle this.

...

...

She comes home in tears and collapses on the couch. Her mother walks into the room carrying Beth and it only makes Quinn cry harder. Mr Schue has assigned them to sing duets and the new kid, Sam Evans is her partner. She's not sure how that happened, he was Kurt's partner but apparently not anymore. All she knows is that he's cute and he knows nothing about what happened to her last year and she absolutely  _cannot_  get involved with him.

Judy puts Beth down in the small crib they set up in the living room and sits down next to Quinn. They've been sort of tiptoeing around each other since Quinn moved back in. Judy's different, but Quinn's unsure how to act around her. She's never been particularly warm and cuddly, but Judy lifts Quinn's legs up and rests them on her lap, rubbing light circles on her calf.

"You can't keep going on like this Quinnie."

Quinn lets out a sob.

...

...

Sam Evans takes her to Breadstix after they win the duet competition and he makes her smile. It's refreshing to talk to someone who doesn't know her. Quinn let's herself indulge in it for a bit, but it feels like a lie.

When he starts talking about dying his hair with lemons, Quinn lets out a laugh. "So you are gay?" She asks. Sam looks a little confused.

"Um... I don't think so." He says. "I mean, I like girls..." He trails off and Quinn can see him thinking about it. "I mean, I guess maybe I like guys too. Or, I've never liked a guy before, but I think I could." He pauses and looks up at Quinn. "Why?"

She balks, unsure of what to say. He's so...open minded, and honest, and,  _nerdy._  She wants to say this is a date. She wants this dopey, sweet, beautiful boy to solve all her problems; but he could just end up being another one. "I've got a three month old daughter." She says, looking him straight in the eye.

Sam pauses, his mouth full of pasta. "Oh...cool, do you have a picture?"

Quinn freezes. "That--that doesn't freak you out?"

Sam swallows his food and shrugs at her. "Honestly? A little, I mean--look I like you, and it's not  _nothing_  but... I dunno." He shrugs again, a smile on his face. "I like you." He says shyly.

"I'm probably going to have to quit either Cheerios or Glee." Quinn finally admits. "I barely have enough time for school let alone two clubs."

"I've never seen you cheer, but you've got a pretty voice." Sam says with a smile.

...

...

So, she quits the Cheerios while Sam gets very close in the running for quarterback. Finn's lived and paranoid and jealous and Quinn takes the smallest bit of pleasure in that.

She holds Sam's hand in the hallway and walks past Finn with a smirk. It's the first time people are whispering about her in a way that makes her feel  _good_  again.

She's upset about not being a Cheerio anymore, but she starts getting almost a whole extra hour of sleep a night so she can't exactly argue with the decision.

...

...

She and Sam Evans are... dating. She  _thinks_  they are dating. They sit next to each other during Glee, and the entire school assumes they are dating, but Quinn has no real idea what's going on. Neither of them talk about it. Sam's just--there.

At first it's incredibly stressful. Quinn's constantly trying to make sure she looks perfect whenever he's around. But after a while, she finds herself comfortable with him.

They make out. It's... not horrible.

Whenever Sam tries for anything more, Quinn shuts him down immediately. At first she tells herself that she is just not ready, that she's traumatized by the way her first time turned out, and Sam believes that. To his credit, he doesn't push much; if she says no, he stops. But Quinn can tell he's disappointed each time.

After about a month, Quinn finally admits to Santana that she's not attracted to him at all. She  _wants_  to be, but she's  _not_. She was never attracted to Finn and if she's being honest she wasn't actually all that attracted to Puck either. Quinn's sure something is wrong with her.

Santana freezes and snaps at her. She's been irritable ever since Brittany and Artie started dating a couple of weeks ago. It's starting to drive Quinn nuts.

It surprises her when she figures it out, but after initially being freaked out about it, it makes sense. Santana and Brittany have always been _SantanaandBrittany_. The way Santana looks longingly at Brittany whenever she's with Artie cuts into Quinn in a way she can't place and makes her uncomfortable to think about. Neither of them talk about it, Santana just starts showing up at Quinn's house alone. Quinn let's her in, and forces her to change diapers.

When Santana actually  _agrees_ ; actually changes Beth's diaper and feeds her a bottle without snark or complaint, Quinn knows something is really wrong.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Santana whispers after Quinn asks what's up. "Can I sleep over?"

Quinn looks up in surprise. Santana is rarely vulnerable if she can help it--a trait they share--and she doesn't like seeing it at all.

"You won't get much sleep. Beth still wakes up at least once a night, usually twice."

Santana shrugs. "So you take the first time she wakes up and I'll take the second."

...

...

When Beth cries at two am Santana kicks Quinn. "Shut your lizard baby up right now or I'll kill it. I don't care if she's starting to get cute."

Quinn kicks her back and crawls out of her bed to retrieve Beth. She falls asleep in the rocking chair, Beth still in her lap. She wakes up with a jolt to someone lifting Beth out of her arms and back into the crib. Santana leads Quinn back to her bedroom and shoves her in the bed. "Thanks." Quinn mumbles.

"Whatever." Santana slumps into the bed next to Quinn unceremoniously.

...

...

Quinn wakes up alone. She stumbles down the hall to find Beth not in her crib and she panics for a second.

When she runs downstairs and into the kitchen, Santana is sitting on top of the kitchen table, legs crossed, watching cartoons and feeding Beth a bottle. She turns her head as Quinn walks into the room and laughs. "Puck's in juvie."

"What!?" Quinn walks over and steals a handful of Santana's fruit loops.

"He drove his mom's car into a convenience store and stole the entire ATM." Santana laughs. "Like, he lifted the ATM machine off of the wall and put it in the back of his mom's car. What a dumbass. The cops were on him before he could even turn the car back on."

"How do you know this?" Quinn asks as she takes Beth and begins burping her.

"Britt texted me. Sarah's sleeping over at their house with Maya cause Puck's mom had to go like... sign him into juvie or whatever."

"I'm gonna murder him."

...

...

Puck going to juvie makes Quinn's life about nine times harder than it already was; Sam helps. Turns out, he's got two little siblings and loves kids. He knows how to change diapers, feed a baby, he's better at everything that both Quinn and Puck combined.

It almost makes Quinn fall in love with him.

 _Almost_.

She wants to keep whatever it is they have going, but it feels more and more like she is lying to him with each day that passes. She's done lying about important things like this.

When she tells Sam that she's not attracted to him, he just smiles. "I know."

"What do you mean you  _know_?"

"Quinn, you'd have been more into it. It's fine really, I'm pretty sure I like you more as a friend too." He rubs the back of his neck and glances at the floor. "Plus, there's kinda someone else I think I like." He almost whispers.

For a second, Quinn's offended. Then she's  _angry_ , and then (in a moment of insanity) she almost attempts to seduce Sam before she actually  _looks_  at him. She takes a deep breath instead. "Who is it?" She asks evenly.

Sam looks down at Beth sheepishly and Quinn's afraid he's going to say Rachel Berry's name, and she's going to have to murder him with her bare hands.

"Kurt Hummel."

Well, she wasn't expecting  _that_.

...

...

Santana asks Brittany to break up with Artie and be with her, and Britt says no.

Quinn doesn't want to take sides--and she doesn't, not really--but all three of them knew who Quinn would pick. Brittany looks upset every time she sees Quinn in the halls, but she doesn't look angry or surprised.

Santana sleeps over a hell of a lot more these days. She even gets up in the night to help with Beth.

...

...

People still assume Quinn and Sam are dating. Rachel even asks if they would like to accompany her and Finn on a double date. Quinn doesn't know where Rachel would get the idea that Quinn would even  _remotely_  enjoy that, and she says so.

Rachel just sort of sputters and walks away. Quinn doesn't really have the time to worry or be confused about it. She has to take care of Santana and Beth, she doesn't have time for whatever drama Rachel is concocting now.

...

...

Quinn can't take it anymore. After Christmas break she walks up to Kurt and tells him to ask Sam out on a date. He's driving her crazy, and she knows Kurt likes him back.

Kurt looks like he's been slapped, but he just nods.

Sam shows up at her house that afternoon with a huge grin on his face, asking her to help him find something to wear. Quinn almost has to burn three Star Wars t-shirts before they find a blue button down that makes him look handsome.

Quinn combs his hair, kisses his cheek and sends him on his way. It's surreal, but nice. Apart from Santana, Sam has become her best friend.

...

...

Watching Rachel moon over Finn is getting  _very_  old. The fact that  _Rachel Berry_  seems willing to give up her entire future Broadway career to watch Finn play college football is  _insane_. When the two of them are partnered up to write a song for Glee, Quinn tells her so.

Because Quinn is  _Quinn_ , and wholly incapable of speaking like a normal, kind, human being; it comes out a bit more harshly than is necessary. She definitely catches Rachel crying afterwards and hates herself just a little bit more than she already does.

She doesn't know what it is that bothers her so much about the two of them dating, but it's  _there_  and it never seems to go away.

...

...

Sam brings Kurt over to help with Beth and do homework after school and Quinn just stares at him. He shifts uncomfortably under her gaze for a good half an hour until Sam yells at her to chill out. He makes some reference to a tv show Quinn's never heard of. When she and Kurt tell him off at the same time, she thinks perhaps Hummel's not so terrible after all.

...

...

Finn outs Santana in the middle of the hallway and Quinn doesn't know what to do.

Being the slutty teenage mother still gets her talked about and stared at. Quinn's gotten used to it at this point. She perfects her icy glare even more and directs it at everyone who  _dares_  look at Santana the wrong way. When someone has the gall to slushie Santana, Quinn cleans her up without a word. Santana is trying very hard not to cry and Quinn can feel her body shaking under her touch.

"Fuck them." Quinn says firmly.

People whisper about the two of them now too, not just Santana and Brittany. Quinn lets them. She never denies it, especially not in front of Santana. She doesn't give a shit what people think anymore.

When Santana cracks her hand into Finn's face, Quinn slips on a proud smile.

...

...

The four of them become a unit. Quinn and Santana; Kurt and Sam. There are looks and whispers and one or two slushies, and yeah, it sucks but they can take it. The year is more than half over, two more months and they're free for the summer. Beth's almost one year old, Quinn is actually surviving.

...

...

Rachel Berry shows up at her doorstep in tears and Quinn almost drops the icy pop in her hand.

"I'm sorry to bother you Quinn, is Kurt here? He's not answering his phone."

Quinn's so shocked she just yells for Kurt without taking her eyes off Rachel. "What... what happened?" She asks.

"I broke up with Finn."

Kurt comes to the door as Rachel explains--and looks almost as shocked as Quinn--but he quickly pulls her into his arms. Useless, Quinn steps back and goes to find Sam and Beth, leaving the drama queens to it.

Sam looks up at her as she walks into the backyard. "Is Santana here?"

"No, Rachel. She dumped Finn and she's crying in your boyfriend's arms in my living room."

"Oh." Sam points to her hands. "Your popsicle melted all over you."

...

...

Rachel starts showing up more and more often. Quinn is so surprised at first she doesn't even say anything, but the third time Kurt brings her to Quinn's house she pulls him aside. "Why do you keep bringing Rachel here?"

"She's my friend and she's having a hard time."

"But why is she  _here_? In my house. She's not my friend."

Kurt gives her a condescending look. "She's not that bad Quinn, you could give her a chance you know."

"I don't want to."

"Well  _try_."

...

...

She doesn't exactly try to become friends with Rachel, but she does make a small effort not to be a bitch.

Kurt seems satisfied.

It's when Rachel comes to Santana's defense against Finn (and they find out that is largely why she broke up with him in the fist place) that Quinn finally makes a real effort. Santana waves it off and calls her a hobbit, but Quinn knows better. Santana's touched.

She stops looking surprised when Rachel shows up with Kurt and Sam, and she makes her mom buy vegan ice cream along with the regular kind.

...

...

Beth calls her mama.

Quinn cries like an idiot for a full twenty minutes.

...

...

Rachel tries to get a nose job, and Quinn's not quite sure why, but she does everything in her power to talk her out of it.

She plays along at first, lets Rachel get pictures of her nose with the doctor, but she tells her not to do it after they're done.

If there is anything she's ever admired or even  _liked_ about Rachel Berry is that she's not afraid to be herself.

When Rachel shows up to Glee with a white t-shirt that says 'nose' and smiles at Quinn, something inside her shifts.

...

...

Santana doesn't wear the shirt Brittany makes her.

Quinn stands there bearing the words, 'teen mom' on her chest.

The two of them sure are a pair.

...

...

They go to Prom together. Quinn knows Santana would prefer to be here with a different blonde, but they dance and sip punch Puck spikes and end up having fun.

Rachel brings Jesse St James and Quinn is bothered by it in a way she can't quite place her finger on. He threw eggs at her head for God's sake. Now they're... friends? Dating again? Quinn's not sure but she can't believe just how far Rachel's ability to forgive stretches.

The school names Kurt prom queen and Quinn is honest to God jealous for a full minute.

She's been holding it together as best she can recently, but this somehow--pathetically--becomes the last straw. Kurt runs out in embarrassment, and Quinn knows Sam has followed him. She sees Santana and Brittany in the hall as she sprints past them to the bathroom.

Footsteps follow her and she doesn't turn around to see who it is, just yells and kicks a trash can with her high heels. It's childish, and shallow and she's fully aware of it, but she still wanted that crown. The fake plastic tiara is just that; fake and plastic, but what it represents means something. It would have meant her life didn't change irrevocably because of Noah Puckerman, some wine coolers, and one bad decision.

She turns, her face full of angry tears and it's  _Rachel Berry_  that's followed her. Somehow, it's always  _Rachel_.

Quinn slaps her without even thinking about it. She feels horrible the second she realizes what she's done.

Rachel takes it in stride. No matter what Quinn does to the girl, it never seems to get rid of her. Quinn can't decide if it's pathetic or admirable.

Rachel wipes Quinn's face gently, so gently it makes Quinn want to slap her again. How is is that she has somehow surrounded herself with people who are kind when she so obviously doesn't deserve it.

Rachel tells her she's pretty, (the prettiest girl she's ever met) but she's a lot more than that and whatever had shifted inside of Quinn months ago just  _clicks_  and  _oh_.

Shit.

...

...

Quinn avoids Rachel (avoids everyone) and studies her ass off. Santana and Brittany are... she's not sure exactly, but they seem better than they  _were_  and Quinn's leaving it at that for now.

Sam and Kurt manage to be adorable in a way that both infuriates Quinn and makes her feel sappy all at once. It's horrible.

Puck starts coming around more often again. But Beth would rather be in Sam's arms (or hell even Santana's) and when it hits him Quinn flinches at the look on his face.

It's his own fault,  _he's_  the one that stopped showing up, but it's painful for Quinn just the same.

He won't come see Beth if anyone else is there, so Quinn makes sure he does actually get some time alone with her whenever possible.

...

...

They are so wholly unprepared for Nationals it's embarrassing. Mr Schue appears to have all but abandoned them--not that Quinn's surprised, she stopped relying on adults the minute her own father called her a whore. And Rachel is preoccupied with going on dates with Finn and meeting Patti LuPone.

It pisses Quinn off.

If  _Rachel's_  not going to take this seriously, what hope do they actually have?

...

...

She has a tiny breakdown in their hotel room. Apparently, she hadn't gotten it all out of her system during Prom.

Santana and Brittany talk her down--and offer something Quinn has  _never_  considered before, but finds herself a little intrigued by. Not that she voices that to either of them, because  _God_ , she'd never live that down.

Instead, Brittany pulls out a pair of scissors and for reasons Quinn can't remember, she lets Britt attack her head with them.

Santana tapes bits of Quinn's hair to her face into a fake beard and gets Quinn to laugh, out loud to the point of her stomach hurting for the first time in months.

...

...

They try, they really do but Quinn knew they had no chance in hell to win.

Finn grabbing Rachel's face and mauling her in front of the entire audience didn't exactly help their chances.

...

...

Beth turns one.

Quinn is the mother of a one year old baby girl. She has managed to keep a baby alive for an entire year. She hasn't failed all of her classes – she hasn't aced them either. But she's satisfied with her B+'s in a way that she never would have been a year ago.

It's the second year in a row she starts as a Cheerio but doesn't finish as one.

Brittany plans a huge birthday for Beth that merges into Puck's end of the year party. Quinn almost shoots the idea down instantly, but he makes every effort to throw an amazing party. It's only full of the glee kids, his sister, his mom, and Quinn's mother. Puck and Sarah make a cake all by themselves and while it's a bit lopsided, and a corner is burnt, Beth is delighted by it. She slams her face into the middle of it before Quinn can stop her.

Quinn helps her open all her presents and marvels at the look of pure happiness on her daughter's face. Santana was right, the hormones did eventually kick in.

As everyone is leaving, Rachel pulls Quinn aside and holds out a small gift. "We already opened yours." Quinn says, confused.

"No, this one's for you."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.

"Well, I figure  _you_  are the one who did most of the work, it's truly your anniversary." She says this with pink cheeks, barely making eye contact. It's so unlike the self assured Rachel that Quinn knows she just accepts the present without a word.

Quinn pulls open the small box and finds a necklace inside.

"It's your birthstone and Beth's." Rachel explains.

"How do you know when my birthday is?"

"I asked Brittany." Rachel shrugs.

Quinn's eyes fill with tears of their own accord. "Rachel..." she swipes at her eyes, "thank you." She whispers.

"You're welcome." Rachel says with a shy smile.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Quinn finally asks. She's wanted to know for the better part of a year now.

Rachel just looks at her in surprise. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Quinn laughs heartlessly. "Oh gee I don't know, how about getting people to slushie you every other day freshman year, drawing shitty things about you on the bathroom stalls, insulting you every chance I got, I could go on if you'd like."

Rachel sighs and sits down at the edge of Brittany's pool. "You  _were_  quite awful to me. And I'll admit, on more than one occasion I've considered retaliation, or simply ignoring you, but I've never quite been able to do it."

"Why?" Quinn asks and sits down, propping her gift up on her knees.

"Truthfully? I'm not sure."

Quinn doesn't respond. She wouldn't know what to say to that. Rachel drops her feet into the pool and Quinn follows suit. The two of them sit in silence for a few minutes, swishing their feet back and forth in the cool water.

"Will you put this on me?" Quinn asks.

Rachel jumps a bit, but nods and positions her body behind Quinn's. With her new haircut, Quinn doesn't need to lift any of her hair out of Rachel's way, so she just passes the necklace over. Quinn shivers as Rachel's fingers brush her neck lightly.

"We're kind of friends now aren't we?" Rachel asks. She's got a light smile forming in the corner of her lips and Quinn can't help but return it. Rachel's excitement has always been annoyingly infectious.

"Kind of." She admits. Rachel's smile grows.

Quinn reaches up and grasps the pendants, about to say thank you again, when Finn appears in the backyard.

"Oh... sorry, Rach can I talk to you?"

Quinn's not sure what bothers her more, that he has the gall to interrupt, or that Rachel nods and stands up to meet him. She gives Quinn a shy smile and a wave, then disappears leaving Quinn alone, again.

She sits there and swings her feet back and forth in the pool until Santana finds her, Beth on her hip. "Brittany is gonna try to teach her to swim like... tomorrow probably. Just warning you."

Santana passes Beth over and Quinn holds her with one hand in her lap, lightly trickling water over Beth's legs with the other. She giggles with delight.

"I'm so glad it's summer." Quinn murmurs.

"God me too. Then it's just one more year and we can get out of this shithole."

Quinn reaches over and smacks Santana. Beth doesn't really talk too much yet, but she's starting to pick up words here and there.

"Shithole would sound hilarious coming out of a baby's mouth and you know it. We could make her a Youtube sensation."

"Yeah, cause that's what we need, 'Ohio teenage mother and notorious lesbian best friend corrupt child.' I'd love for that to be the next thing people whisper about us in the halls."

"Bitch please, everyone can suck it, that'd be funny as shit."

"Tit." Beth murmurs happily.

Quinn and Santana both glance down at her in horror.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end of part 1! I hope you've all enjoyed this so far, part 2 should be up sometime next week. Work is a little hectic right now, but I should have it up by next Friday or so at the latest.

Quinn dyes her hair pink.

She does  _not_  get a Ryan Seacrest tattoo like Santana tells everyone.

She's fully aware that the whole homemade hair dye, change of clothes situation is pretty much solely related to seeing her father again for the first time in nearly two years. The divorce is being finalized and Quinn and Beth tag along with Judy to meet the lawyers.

School has only been out for two weeks and this summer is already looking better than the last. The simple fact that Beth is older fixes most things. Quinn doesn't breastfeed anymore, Beth can walk (waddle) and she's starting to speak. She's  _adorable_  and funny and Quinn's friends like having her around. Not to mention, her friends are actually her friends now.

Quinn's sitting in the waiting room playing with Beth while her mother signs the papers. Judy is taking Quinn and Beth to the doctors for her one year checkup afterwards.

Russell stalks out of the office angry and halts the second he locks eyes with Quinn. She freezes in an instant, feeling like she's seven years old again and caught going into his study. His gaze goes back and forth between Quinn and Beth for what feels like an hour, but can only be seconds. Beth tugs at her skirt, trying to get her attention. "Mama!"

Quinn watches as his eyes narrow. Instinctively, she pulls Beth towards her, and as far away from Russell as she can.

"What are you doing here?" He snarls.

Quinn jumps at the venom in his voice, and she sees Beth look up at her inquisitively.

"Waiting for Mom." Quinn answers out of habit.

Russell makes a face at her and moves forward, towering over Quinn. "How dare you bring that here." He points to Beth.

Quinn balks. So shocked she doesn't even know what to say. If it were any other person in the world she would tear them down in a second. But this is Russell Fabray. Her father. The way Beth whines and presses her tiny body into Quinn's snaps her to attention. She glares up at her father. "Her name is Beth."

"I don't give a shit what her name is. You don't bring your bastard here and disgrace me like this."

Quinn's skin boils as she cradles Beth to her and stands up. Facing her father with wet hot tears forming in her eyes. She prepares to yell back at him but Beth begins to cry. Russell only seems to get angrier at the noise and he scoffs as Quinn tries to soothe her.

"Unbelievable." He shakes his head.

Quinn ignores him and tries to will Beth to stop. Her face is hot and she knows she's crying, which only causes Beth to cry harder.

"Mama, mama." Beth mumbles. She only knows a handful of words, and 'mama' is her most used one. Before Quinn can do anything, her mother and the lawyers step into the waiting room. Judy takes one look at Quinn and Beth crying, and rushes over to them, placing herself between them and Russell. The two of them start yelling and Quinn just wants to disappear. The lawyers jump between them, calming her parents down. Quinn rubs Beth's back and walks out of the room, shoving herself past her father as fast as she can. She heads straight for her mother's car and leans against it, trying to get Beth to stop crying. It takes a minute or two, but by the time Judy comes outside and unlocks the car, Beth's perfectly happy again.

Quinn envies her. Beth can go from hysterical to grinning from ear to ear in a matter of seconds.

If her father wants a disgrace, Quinn's going to give him one. She buys pink hair dye while getting groceries for her mother and fixes her hair the next afternoon.

Puck has Beth for the day and Quinn goes to her father's new home. She bangs on the door harshly and refuses to look intimidated when he opens it to greet her. His eyes take in her choppy, pink hair, exposed midriff, black nails and cigarettes popping out of her purse and he laughs. It's a cruel laugh. An embarrassed, awkward laugh. And Quinn revels in it. She hasn't seen it quite often, but this is her father unsure. He doesn't know how to react to Quinn like this and it makes her feel giddy and powerful.

"Hello father." She says calmly. His eyes follow as she pulls out a cigarette and places it in her lips, unlit.

"What do you want?" He says after taking a breath.

"Just wanted to say hi to my father." Quinn shrugs, pulling the cigarette out of her mouth. "Am I not allowed to do that?"

He clenches his teeth and glares at her. Quinn glares right back.

"You've said it, now what do you want?"

She had practiced what she wanted to say on the way over, but all the sudden, it goes totally blank in her head. There was a whole speech, about how he let her down, how she needed him and he just tossed her away like she was nothing. She wanted to know  _why._  Quinn's only been a mother for a year, and Beth has only just started talking but Quinn can't imagine ever doing that to her. How could her father do it?

She feels the tears threatening to fall and sucks in a breath, refusing to let him see them.

"Fuck you." She says calmly before turning and walking away from his shocked face.

She holds it together long enough to make her way to Santana's house, then she loses it. It shocks Santana so much that she just pulls Quinn into her arms and let's her cry.

It's the single weirdest sensation in the universe to cry in Santana Lopez's arms. It feels wrong, and awkward and Quinn wants to pull away immediately. Instead, she tightens her grip.

Santana makes shushing noises until Quinn calms down then pushes her forward, wiping her eyes a bit. "Jesus Q, you look more like a lesbo than I do." She says with a grin.

Quinn busts out laughing.

...

...

She spends the rest of the summer with pink hair, lazily waking up and playing with Beth, teaching herself how to cook new recipes. Judy has always made sure Quinn and Frannie knew how to cook proper meals--preparing for marriage and all that. Quinn used to hate cooking. Her mother was always insistent they do everything perfect to a tee, it was always more of a chore than something to enjoy.

Quinn flicks some flour and at Beth and dances around the kitchen in a tank top and shorts, singing along with the radio. Beth giggles and dances along, stamping her feet and throwing her arms up for Quinn to lift her. The two of them spin around with matching smiles.

Bright, sunny, summer mornings with Beth quickly become Quinn's favorite thing.

By the time Beth is ready for her nap, Puck is usually waking up for the day. Quinn gets her settled down and Puck usually heads over, makes himself some lunch/breakfast and watches tv while Beth sleeps. Quinn usually heads over to Brittany's house--giving her and Santana ample warning--and the three of them hang out at Brittany's for a few hours.

Kurt and Santana both refuse to get in the pool. They lay side by side, tanning and sleeping while Quinn, Brittany and Sam swim around having a blast. In the end, the three of them manage to get Santana and Kurt into the pool. Mostly by way of splashing.

Puck typically drops Beth off on his way back home if Judy is working late. She runs to Sam immediately. Beth adores him in a way that she just doesn't with Puck and Quinn sees how much it hurts him. She goes out of her way to try and include Puck whenever the five of them are hanging out, but Puck never wants too.

Quinn's unsure what to do about it. She gives Puck time alone with her and tries to include him anytime she can, anything else is up to him.

...

...

Summer goes on, most often with Santana, Brittany, Sam and Kurt. Once in a while, Mercedes, Tina and Mike will join them. Mrs Pierce has gotten used to her dinner table expanding as each week goes on. Quinn finds that despite her friends acceptance of Beth, it's still the summer before their senior year, and they're teenagers. Once a toddler cries for long enough, they tend to get annoyed.

She only graces the Pierces with her presence at dinnertime once or twice a week.

...

...

She and Judy are still tentative with each other. Quinn doesn't think that's ever going to go away. She loves her mother and she's grateful to be back home and receiving all the help with Beth she can get...

But.

The look on her mother's face, refusing to meet Quinn's eyes as her father screams at her and kicks her out of her own home never goes away. The feel of her mother's hands resting on Quinn's belly, seeing the realization in her eyes and doing  _nothing._

Quinn wants to move past it, to forgive her mother--and part of her  _does--_ but she's never going to trust her mother the same way.

Quinn doesn't think she's ever going to trust  _anyone_  completely ever again.

...

...

Rachel gets back together with Finn.

Mercedes tells Quinn this while they are lounging on foam noodles in Brittany's pool. Quinn's eyes snap up to her and Mercedes just shrugs. "I mean, I figured it was gonna happen eventually. Girl cannot get enough of that dopey boy."

"Yeah." Quinn responds. She's had an inkling of something the last few months, but it infuriates and embarrasses her, so she pushes it down and ignores it. However, it's moments like this where she can't seem to ignore it completely.

"Aw shit, sorry girl. I didn't mean to bring him up or nothing. Does that still bother you?"

Quinn's confused for a moment, until realization dawns on her when she looks at Mercedes face. "What? God no. I  _don't_  like Finn. He can date whoever he wants." She shrugs and turns to watch Sam gently spin Beth around in the shallow end of the pool. Her face lights up as she splashes the water with glee. When she turns back to Mercedes the other girl is frowning at her. "What?" Quinn spits out, a little more harshly than she intends.

Mercedes makes a face at her and Quinn winces apologetically. "You sure used to seem like you cared."

"Yeah well..." Quinn waves her hand in lieu of answering. Mercedes seems halfway placated and Quinn slips off her noodle and paddles over to Beth and Sam.

"Mama!" Beth cheers and launches her body into Quinn's. Her reflexes have become far more attentive than ever before now that Beth can move around on her own.

"So... Rachel and Finn..." Sam says slowly.

Quinn snaps. "What about them? God, I don't  _care_!"

"I..." Sam pauses and stands up fully. "I didn't mean it like that. At all. I just--I mean Kurt's his brother basically and Rachel's over a lot and just... she's kind of cool and we've been hanging out." Sam shrugs. "I like her." He leans forward and tickles Beth, who squeals and kicks her legs out at him. "And she asked about Beth--and you, and I... well, I thought maybe I could invite her to hang out with us again. Her and Finn, but I didn't want to do it without asking you first."

A million things run through Quinn's mind but for some reason the one she focuses on pops out of her mouth. "She asked about me? Why?"

Sam's eyebrows point together in confusion. Quinn would laugh in any other scenario, Sam's confused face is one of her favorite things.

"Cause she was curious?" He shrugs and catches Beth as she launches herself back into his arms. "I mean, you guys don't like fight or whatever anymore right? You're kinda friends? I dunno, she's nice and she asked about you. Why's it weird?"

"It's--I, it's  _not_." Quinn wraps her arms around her torso, chilled from the breeze. "I just, we don't really hang out."

"Well that's what I'm saying, we should change that! She used to come over last year, with Kurt."

"Yeah, cause she was upset about Finn. Finn who need I remind you told the entire school--and subsequently the population of Lima, Ohio--that Santana is gay."

Sam sighs. "Look, that was super shitty of him and everyone knows it. He knows it. I mean, it's our last year, we should enjoy it and just let crap go right?"

"Fine whatever."

Sam turns his body fully towards Quinn and stares her down. Quinn  _hates_  when he does this. He can always somehow pull whatever it is out of her that she absolutely does not want to talk about. "So... I'll invite her over to hang out?"

Quinn stares right back at him, meeting his eyes without flinching. "Sure Sam, you can go ahead and invite Rachel Berry over to my house to hang out with you." She holds her arms out. "Give me my kid, she needs a nap."

Sam passes Beth over without a word, but she can still feel him staring as she climbs out of the pool, towels off, and heads inside.

...

...

Having Rachel and Finn in her house is  _weird_. Having them in her house with Sam and Kurt is even weirder. For the four short months that Quinn and Finn had dated (she cannot believe how long ago that seems now) Finn only came to her house a handful of times. One of them being the night she was subsequently kicked out of it.

It's the first thing that pops into his head as he walks over the threshold. Quinn sees it in his eyes instantly and her breath hitches. Their eyes meet and though she has barely spoken to Finn in the last year, and they are not friends in the slightest, that connection will never go away. Only Santana has seen her even close to that scared and broken. He held her hand and packed her clothes and was her only lifeline. Despite everything else about him that bothers her (and there is  _a lot)_ she's never going to be able to properly say thank you for that moment.

So instead, she nods her head and smiles at him. He grins, sticks his hands in his pockets, and nods back.

Rachel squeals at the sight of Beth in Sam's arms. Quinn steps away from Finn and watches as she walks over to the two of them. Laughably, Rachel sticks her hand out. "I don't know if you remember me Beth, I'm Rachel." She introduces herself, waiting as Beth looks down at her hand in confusion. "Umm.." Rachel looks over at Quinn for help and she laughs.

"She's one. She doesn't know what a handshake is."

"Oh, right."

Sam grins and gently grabs Beth's hand, putting it in Rachel's and shaking it for her. He does so exaggeratedly and Beth begins to laugh. Shyly, she slams her head into Sam's collarbone and pulls away from Rachel. "Mam." She says as she crawls up his body. The way she cannot pronounce the 's' sound is adorable.

Finn seems... bothered by the fact that Sam and Kurt are so at home here. Rachel seems surprised by it, but not overtly so. At least, she makes an effort not to show her surprise so obviously. The few times she came her last year, both boys behaved more like guests. Kurt has always been more reserved and polite about being a guest in someone else's home; but Sam practically lives here and it shows in his behavior.

It's after Beth throws some pudding on Sam's shirt and he pulls it off without a second thought and grabs another right out of the laundry bin that Finn says something. Quinn is in the kitchen, getting popsicles for everyone when Finn comes in behind her. "You know he's dating Kurt right?" He asks.

Utterly confused, Quinn turns around to look at him. "What?"

"Sam, he's gay. He's dating Kurt."

"I--I know?"

"So..." Finn waves his hands around at her.

Quinn cocks her head to the side. "So... _what_  Finn? I fail to see your point."

"He's not gonna marry you and be Beth's dad or whatever."

The small part of Quinn that regarded Finn in fondness evaporates. "Excuse me?" She says cooly.

"He's  _gay_. You can't bring him here and have him take care of your kid and touch him all the time and leave his clothes here and take Puck's place. He's dating  _Kurt_."

Quinn sets the popsicles in her hand down and sucks in a breath before glaring straight at Finn. "First of all, Sam's bisexual. It's a thing. He identifies as it and has said so many times before, so calling him gay when he is not is bullshit. Secondly, my relationship with Sam is not, and never will be  _any_  of your business. I don't have to justify a single thing to you, but since you are wondering, Sam is my best friend. And I'll act around him however I want."

"I thought  _Santana_ was your best friend."

Quinn turns away from him, she really doesn't feel like smacking the shit out of Finn right now. She collects the popsicles that everyone has been waiting for much longer than they should have and walks towards the porch. "Santana  _is_ my best friend, Sam is my other one. And once this afternoon is over, you're not welcome to come here anymore."

With that, she plasters on a smile to rival her mother's and heads out to play hostess.

...

...

Quinn doesn't bother telling Sam or Kurt what happens, but she makes it clear that Finn is not about to become her new best buddy. She's pretty sure they figure it out, either Kurt gets it out of Finn or whatever and they don't mention it again. Except for when Sam walks over to her, dips her while she is trying to get Beth's drool out of her shirt, and kisses her full on the lips. Kurt whoops and snaps a photo, sending it to half the glee club. When Sam releases her, she smacks him on the arm. He only grins and kisses her again--on the cheek this time.

...

...

While Finn doesn't come over anymore--and anytime they all hang out as a glee club he steers clear from Quinn--Rachel becomes a fixture for the rest of the summer.

It's only occasionally, and hardly ever at Brittany's unless it is a full glee club swim party; but it shocks Quinn all the same.

Sam and Rachel really  _do_  seem to get along. Watching the two of them with Kurt is jarring in a way Quinn can't describe. She has no claim over either boy but somehow, it bothers her that Sam and Rachel connect. She and Kurt have been friends for a while, that's never bothered Quinn, but Sam – he feels more like hers somehow.

She doesn't even know what the two of them would ever have in common to talk about, so she asks him. They're all at Puck's, a nighttime party close to the end of summer and Quinn's curious.

Sam blinks and just looks at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... are you like into musicals all the sudden or –-"

"You know she likes things besides musicals right?"

Quinn scoffs. "I've never heard her talk about anything else."

"Maybe you should try actually talking to her sometime." He offers and walks away leaving Quinn bewildered.

...

...

Summer goes by faster than Quinn would like.

Beth learns to turn her waddle into something resembling a run and nearly falls into Brittany's pool on more than one occasion. Quinn now knows what actual terror feels like.

She accidentally walks in on Santana and Brittany having sex and is scarred for life. She is also... curious, and goes home and does a google search that makes her feel like apologizing to Jesus.

Sam and Kurt get into a fight. Quinn doesn't know the specifics of it. Sam just shows up alone one afternoon, eyes bloodshot and face red. He falls asleep in Quinn's bed with Beth in between them. She doesn't pry and he doesn't offer up any information, just shows up nearly every morning, or spends the night, sullen and quiet unless he's with Beth.

Quinn wears Rachel's necklace nearly everyday.

...

...

On the first day if her senior year of high school, Quinn accidentally sets a purple piano on fire.

It's got to be some sort of ridiculous metaphor for her life.

...

...

Quinn is not going to be a Cheerio this year. She doesn't have time for it, and she didn't end up missing it as much as she would have thought last year. It does mean she sees less of Santana and Brittany, which sucks.

Sam avoids Kurt, which means Quinn is mostly avoiding him as well. She's worked out what happened at this point. They were mostly fighting about the future, next year, and (Quinn's pretty sure) her and Beth. She's been afraid to ask, so she keeps her mouth shut.

Quinn does realize that she needs to think about her future too. In mere months she will be a high school graduate. She always just assumed she'd go to Ohio State, date some boy and eventually marry him.

Now... she's not sure what she wants.

She wants out of Ohio. That much is clear. But, it's also daunting and scary. Dating some boy...her mind drifts to Sam momentarily before she grimaces. That ship sailed before it ever really began. However, the thought of Sam  _not_  being there in her future--Quinn hates that.

She finds herself in Miss Pillsbury's office--involuntarily--and sees Rachel and Kurt already sitting inside as she waits.

They walk out excitedly whispering about Tisch and Juilliard. Kurt halts when he sees her and Rachel bumps into him.

"Hello." He says curtly.

"Hey." Quinn responds, brushing her fading pink bangs out of her eyes.

"You know, that hair looks tacky." He says with a smirk. Quinn sees Rachel look warily between them. If Kurt wants to play this game, he's going to lose. Quinn lets a smile etch onto her face and she takes great pleasure in the two of them both visibly wincing at it. She remembers either Puck or Finn--not sure which--used to call it her Serial Killer Quinn smile.

She stands without a word and pushes past them.

Miss Pillsbury is thrilled and amazed by her grades, Quinn's frankly a little amazed by them herself. She has a real shot of getting out of Ohio, into some really good schools by the sound of it. She leaves the office with a large stack of pamphlets and hope that she hasn't felt in quite a while. Apparently, there is a significant amount of financial aid for a single teenage mother who manages to keep her grades up in the way Quinn has.

It's the thought of going to any of them alone that is terrifying.

That night, after Glee, Quinn asks Sam if he knows what he wants to do after graduation. His head whips around to her so fast Quinn thinks she hears something snap. "You're kidding right?" He asks.

"I... no, what do you mean?"

"I--I'm, we already talked about this. Last year. I said I'd come with you. You  _know_  this, I promised that's--fuck Quinn that's why Kurt and I broke up!" He's madder than Quinn's ever seen him and she has no idea how to react.

"I..."

"I said I'd help you. I  _promised_." He repeats.

Quinn hesitates. She remembers what he is talking about, but, she never realized he extended that offer after high school.

"I remember. I just, what do you want to do? You never said. I--I know you said you'd help, I thought you meant now. Not after."

Sam sits down and runs his fingers through his hair. "I broke up with Kurt because of this." He says harshly.

"I never asked you to." Quinn whispers. Sam looks over at her and Quinn flinches. "Sam... I, why didn't you  _tell me_  any of this?"

"Because I thought you knew!" He stands up and grabs his jacket. Quinn goes to follow him, but she hears Beth cry from upstairs and turns around.

...

...

Sam stops talking to her. Not in a way anyone else would notice. He's polite and goofy and still  _Sam_ , but he never comes over to her house, and never spends more than a minute alone with her if he can help it.

Santana and Brittany are busy with the Cheerios and each other and Sam won't talk to her and Kurt was already mad and she's all alone.

Again.

...

...

She studies. She goes to glee, does her homework, dyes her hair back to normal, takes care of Beth and applies to colleges all around the country.

Brittany wins class president and Quinn finds out that Rachel gets suspended for trying to help Kurt win.

She has no ungodly idea  _why_ , but she goes to Rachel's house.

Puck has Beth for the evening and Santana and Brittany have practice until like ten pm and Sam hasn't answered a single one of her text messages.

A tall black man opens the door and Quinn almost apologizes and runs away before she remembers Rachel  _does_  have a black father and this is the right house.

He introduces himself as Leroy, and seems surprised, but lets Quinn inside. She follows him up to Rachel's room and stands awkwardly in the doorway when he leaves. Rachel shoots up from where she was sitting on her bed and wipes at her face, trying to cover tears. "Quinn? What are you doing here?"

"Umm..." Her mind goes blank. "I don't know." She says honestly. "I just... I wanted to see if you were okay I guess." She shrugs, feeling totally ridiculous. This was a horrible idea. "I'm sorry, I'll just go."

"No!" Rachel jumps forward and tugs on Quinn's arm. "Sorry. I--you can stay."

She must be starved for attention from someone over the age of two, because Quinn does exactly that.

The two of them sit side by side on Rachel's bed and look everywhere but at each other. Quinn desperately wants to leave. She looks around Rachel's room, taking in the Broadway posters and pink and bites back a laugh. It's exactly what she pictured Rachel's room would look like. Not that she has ever pictured that.

Surprisingly, she sees a poster of Sara Bareilles and turns to Rachel, pointing. "You like her music?"

Rachel looks up and smiles. "Oh, yeah I love her. That's from her concert."

"You go to concerts?"

Rachel looks at her blankly. "I like music Quinn."

"Yeah but..."

"Despite what everyone thinks, I have other interests apart from musical theatre."

"I didn't –-"

"You did." Rachel says, cutting her off. "It's alright, we've never really taken the time to know each other have we? Why would you know?"

Quinn is silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry." She finally whispers, needing to say it to someone. Rachel certainly deserves to hear it.

"That you didn't know I like Sara Bareilles?" Rachel asks with a light laugh. "I'm not sure I can forgive you for that."

Quinn chuckles. Rachel joking around with her in her bedroom is  _never_  something Quinn considered happening in her lifetime.

"No." She says eventually. "For –-" she takes a breath, "I was shitty to you. Loads of times and you didn't deserve it. I'm sorry." Quinn resists the urge to stand up and run away. She wants to finally own up to the crap she's done. She's never going to be able to truly leave her past behind her otherwise. "And I wanted to thank you." She adds. Rachel looks up at her in surprise at this and Quinn just gives her a small smile. "You've offered me friendship a bunch of times, and you've forgiven me for shit that I never would have forgiven anyone for, and... look, I just wanted to say thanks."

Rachel looks at her for an uncomfortably long time. Holding her gaze in a way that Quinn feels like she can't break. She does everything in her power not to squirm. When Rachel finally reacts, she throws her arms around Quinn and pulls her into a hug. It shocks Quinn so badly she tenses up, doesn't move the entire few seconds Rachel holds her.

When Rachel pulls back she smiles apologetically. "Thank you Quinn."

"Yeah, sure." Quinn's hands reach up and she fiddles with her necklace. A nervous habit she's picked up. She can't keep sitting next to Rachel anymore, the room feels too small all the sudden, so she stands and pretends to be inspecting a poster for  _Wicked_.

"You wear it." Rachel says, looking astonished.

"Huh?"

Rachel points to Quinn's hands twisting the two pendants together.

"Oh." Quinn drops her hands to her sides. "Yeah well, I told you I liked it didn't I?"

"I'm glad. It looks lovely on you."

Quinn feels herself blush and it somehow shocks her back into reality. "I've got to go. Puck has Beth."

Rachel stands and walks her downstairs, waving at the front door as Quinn turns her car on and tries not to peel out of the driveway like a maniac. Quinn glances back in her rearview mirror and sees Rachel still standing there as she drives down the road.

...

...

Sam shows up at her doorstep unexpectedly.

"You apologize and I'll apologize." Is all he says in way of greeting.

"Excuse me?"

"It's Christmas and I miss you." He explains.

"It's December 5th and I don't even know what I'm apologizing for!" Quinn yells. "You said you made me this promise and never told me about it and broke up with your boyfriend because of me! And I  _never_  asked you to do that Sam. I  _never_  would have. And you blamed me for it and that's not  _fair_! And then you just...you  _left._  How could you do that? I'm not apologizing to you!"

"You have to apologize for not knowing that I'd pick you." He says. "You're my best friend Quinn. I know Santana's yours, and that's fine, but you're mine and I'll  _always_  pick you. And you should have known that. So that's what you have to apologize for. I'm apologizing for everything else."

Quinn doesn't know what to say, so she takes his prompt. "I'm sorry."

Sam sighs happily and steps forward, enveloping her in a crushing hug. "I'm sorry." He says sincerely. "I'm really,  _really_  sorry."

Quinn hugs him back and he laughs, lifting her up and spinning her around.

...

...

Tis' the season for people showing up at her doorstep apparently.

Santana is bouncing on the balls of her feet with her hands jammed into her cheerios jacket, looking pissed as hell. "Jesus fuck Q it's freezing out here let me in!" She blurts out the second Quinn opens the door. Quinn doesn't even have a minute to react before Santana shoves past her and barrels into the house, still bouncing up and down for warmth.

"Hello to you too Santana." Quinn says dryly.

Beth comes waddling into the room, her face lighting up at the sight of Santana. "Tana!" She yells, and holds her arms up.

"Hey lizard." The horrible nickname Santana gave Beth in utero stuck. It's become more of an affectionate joke than anything else. Quinn has stopped being pissed about it, now it usually makes her smile. Santana hoists Beth up onto her hip. "So, I'm like... telling my abuela I'm gay tonight." She directs at Quinn. Quinn's eyes snap up to her. Santana won't meet her gaze, she's busying herself with Beth.

"Want me to come with you?" She asks softly. Santana shakes her head and tickles Beth, who squeals and kicks her legs out. "You sure?"

She looks up and finally meets Quinn's eyes. For a second, she looks about ten years old. Quinn knows Santana's parent's took the news well, but she knows Santana cares more about her abuela than almost anyone. She's terrified. Finally, she nods. "Yeah, I got to do it."

"Okay." Quinn shrugs. "If you change your mind..."

Santana smirks at her, but it's not sarcastic, or arrogant. It's almost a real smile. "I know."

...

...

Santana's abuela tells her she never wants to see her again, and Quinn sees something in her break for good. She recognizes it. It's the same face she saw in the mirror after her parents kicked her out.

Santana goes to Quinn before she goes to Brittany.

She's already put Beth to sleep, and she's about to crash herself when her phone buzzes. Quinn sees Santana's name pop up and answers it immediately. "I'm outside." Her voice is small and tearful and Quinn jumps out of her bed and runs downstairs. It's started snowing and Santana's hair is wet and she's shivering. She'd dressed up for her abuela, and only that makes it worse. "I..." She chokes out a sob. Quinn grabs her hand and yanks her inside. Her first instinct is to wrap her up in a hug, but she sees that it would only make the already keyed up Santana panic. Instead, she links her hand with Santana's and pulls her upstairs.

"Want me to call Brittany?"

"No." Santana grips Quinn's hand tighter. "Yes. Er, no--no." She shakes her head. Quinn pushes her gently down onto the bed and digs around her dresser. Pulling out an extra pair of pjs and a t-shirt, she hands them over to Santana. "Actually, yes." She says and accepts the clothes.

Quinn dials Brittany while Santana slips out of her wet dress and into Quinn's pjs. "Hey Britt, Santana's here and she wants to talk to you."

"M'kay." A sleepy Brittany answers. Quinn passes the phone over and tells Santana she's going to go check on Beth.

Beth's sound asleep in her crib, and Quinn's exhausted herself, but she wants to give Santana some privacy. She curls up into the padded rocking chair and attempts to get comfortable. The next thing she knows, Santana is not so gently poking her shoulder.

"Q, get up."

"What?"

"You're sleeping in a chair."

" _Trying_  to."

"Why don't you come sleep in your actual bed?"

Quinn finally cracks an eye open. "I was giving you privacy."

"Well I don't want it anymore!" Santana says, and walks out of Beth's room. Quinn sighs. For someone who pretends she is a badass above human emotions, she sure can be needy when she wants to be. Quinn gets up and follows Santana, rushing once she realizes how cold it is. They both slip under the covers and shiver, pressing their bodies closer for warmth.

"Want to talk about it, or want to sleep?" Quinn asks with a yawn.

"What do you think?"

"Sleep it is."

...

...

When Quinn wakes up, Santana's halfway on top of her. With the amount of times she has slept over in the last year, Quinn's used to it. Santana is a cuddler. As long as she doesn't call Quinn 'Brittany', or put her mouth anywhere that's gonna make either of them scarred for life--Quinn doesn't care.

Quinn slips out from under her as best she can and pads over to the bathroom, cursing her neglect to put on socks last night. By the time she walks back into the bedroom, pulls on a hoodie and some fluffy socks, Santana is waking up.

"God, what time is it?" She groans.

Quinn glances over at her alarm clock. "7:15."

"Jesus fuck!" Santana tugs the covers over her head.

"If you want to shower first, do it now while I get Beth; otherwise you're gonna be late." She doesn't bother waiting for a response. Beth has mostly stopped crying every time she wakes up, at least in the mornings, after naps is a different story. She sits patiently in her crib, playing with her toys and pops up the second she sees Quinn. Lifting her arms with a joyful, "Mama" she waits to be picked up. It makes Quinn smile every single time.

"Hey baby girl."

Quinn has finished changing Beth's diaper and dressing her by the time Santana comes out of the bathroom, clad only in a towel. "Fuck, gimme some clothes! I'm freezing my tits off."

"Language!"

"Clothes!"

"Tana, tuck!" Beth flips over and crawls to Santana.

Quinn gets up off the floor and finds a cheerio uniform that she is pretty sure is actually Santana's and throws it at her; along with a pair of thick dance tights, cheerio socks, a bra that is  _definitely_  Santana's and some underwear. "When she learns how to say the 'f' sound, I'm gonna kill you."

Santana just sticks her tongue out and shimmies unabashedly out of the towel while Quinn heads into the bathroom to shower.

By the time she's dressed and downstairs, Santana's already put Beth in her highchair and is nursing a mug of coffee and chatting with Judy.

"Good morning Quinnie." Judy says, placing a kiss to Quinn's temple.

"Yeah, hi Quinnie." Santana mimics. Quinn reaches over and pinches her when her mother isn't looking.

...

...

By the time winter break comes around, Santana's still upset about her abuela, but seems better. Sam and Quinn are back to normal, and the Cheerios actually get a  _break_  during the school break, so Quinn sees Santana and Brittany almost every day.

Kurt is still icing her out, but he and Sam are on more civil terms. She heard from Mercedes that Kurt went on a date with some boy named Blaine that he met from visiting Dalton Academy. He'd been thinking of transferring last year, but never did. Sam gets moody and jealous when he finds out and it makes their break decidedly less fun.

The night before Christmas eve, Quinn goes over to the Hummel-Hudson house. Carole answers the door and it's one of the single most uncomfortable ten seconds that Quinn ever endures before Carole calls for Kurt. She hasn't seen the woman since she moved out of Finn's house after he found out Puck was Beth's father. When Kurt comes to greet her, it's not much better than Carole staring at her. Quinn's sick of his shit, she hasn't done anything wrong this time.

"Talk to Sam." She orders. Kurt scoffs and fixes his hair pretentiously and Quinn wants to reach over and mess it up. Or yank at it. "Look, if you're gonna date someone else, at least have the decency to break up with him for real first."

"I –-"

"I don't give a shit." She interrupts. "Talk to him." She stands and smooths down her skirt. "But for the record, he's totally in love with you and if you can't handle me being his best friend than you're an asshole. He's the sweetest guy in the world, anyone would be lucky to have him."

"And why aren't you?" He snaps. "You've been basically shacking up with him for the last year. You, him and Santana."

"And  _you_  dumbass." Quinn is seriously wondering what exactly it is that that Sam sees in him. "Are you forgetting practically every afternoon you were at my house with us? Or is there something wrong with your brain?"

"He picked you!" Kurt yells.

"What?"

He sighs and crosses his arms in the way that always bothers Quinn. "I asked him what he wanted to do next year, for college or whatever, and he said he wasn't sure because you two hadn't talked about it yet. Call me crazy, but asking  _my_  boyfriend what he wants to do with his life shouldn't depend upon what Quinn Fabray does with hers. Some people still think you two are dating. Hell, people still think you and Santana are dating! Why is is that the world revolves around you? What exactly makes _you_  so damn special?"

It takes almost every bit of resistance Quinn has not to step forward and slap him right across the face.

"The world revolves around  _me_? Are you kidding me? Forgive me Kurt if I managed to finally get two actual friends who care about me after the most difficult year of my life."

"Oh my god, you had a baby Quinn, people do it every day. I was bullied and ostracized long before you ever were. My life was threatened on a daily basis. You got slushied a few times and didn't get prom queen. You came out of it perfect as always, and you manage to have  _my boyfriend_  wrapped around your finger."

"Oh my god." Quinn doesn't think she's been this angry in a very long time. "You're--you know what, no. You don't get to do this, you don't get to compare pain like this and put yourself up on a high horse. Yes Kurt, you've gone through some horrible things, I would never deny that, but...you have _no idea_  what I've been through." He rolls his eyes and Quinn has finally, truly had enough. She steps forward, invading his personal space and she grins when he slinks back into the wall a bit. "If this is some bullshit biphobia crap because you think I'm trying to steal Sam from you, you need to grow the fuck up and get over yourself. I don't like Sam like that, I  _never_  have, I'm not attracted to him at all. And he is crazy about you. I have no clue  _why_ , because you are a grade A dick, but he  _is_. It's not like that between us and it's never going to be." She takes a breath and turns around, pausing in his doorway. "Get over your own shit and don't blame it on me."

...

...

Christmas eve is just Quinn, Beth and her mother. Frannie calls and talks to Judy for over an hour – and spends a total of all two minutes talking to Quinn – but otherwise, it's just them. It's nice. Christmas's have always been tense in the Fabray household. Russell always made them dress up and go to his work party. Quinn always had to be on her best behavior and be quiet and they never got home until she was so tired she was practically falling asleep where she stood.

Sophomore year, Quinn was at Puck's. The Puckermans don't celebrate Christmas, and Quinn wasn't in the festive mood. It came and went without any fanfare.

Last year, Judy drank herself into a stupor Christmas eve, going on and on about being alone and the 'young slut' Russell was sleeping with. Quinn was angry at first, but it was just so sad and terribly depressing that she mostly just felt bad for her. She woke up Christmas day and ordered Quinn to pack Beth up and they drove four hours to Frannie's house for dinner. Frannie politely cooed at Beth but never attempted to hold her. She made enough snide remarks that Quinn picked up on how disappointed she was that Quinn wasn't married to Puck. Frannie had always been more like Russell than Judy.

This year, they make eggnog (which Quinn realizes she  _hates)_ and more cookies than they know what to do with. They curl up on the couch and watch Christmas movies, Beth falling asleep between them. Quinn wakes up sometime after two am and Beth is asleep on her chest, Judy's legs are tangled in Quinn's on the couch. She decides not to bother waking either of them. The fire is still going and it's warm, so Quinn just goes back to sleep.

She regrets it when she wakes up in the morning, a crick in her neck and Beth's drool all down her front.

Santana invites them to her house for an early Christmas dinner. Quinn dresses Beth in an adorable red velvet dress, and packs some diapers and a bottle into her purse. When they get to the Lopez house, Maya and Sarah are running around chasing each other--and quickly take Beth to play with them. Judy heads straight for the kitchen and Maribel, while Quinn goes up to Santana's room.

She has learned her lesson, and knocks loudly and announces her presence before opening the door. Brittany giggles and climbs off Santana and pulls Quinn into a hug. Thankfully, they are both fully clothed, for the most part.

Maribel calls them downstairs within minutes and they all pile around the dining room table. Santana's parents sit at the heads while Santana, Brittany, Maya, Sarah, Gina, Puck, Sam, Judy, Quinn and Beth all squeeze in around the table.

The dinner is loud and cheerful, nothing like the stilted, icy dinners Quinn is used to. She eats until she is stuffed and Beth is reaching for her. Everyone makes their way to the living room and mindlessly watches tv and talks. Beth falls asleep in her arms within minutes, and Quinn falls asleep curled into Brittany's side not much longer.

It's the best Christmas Quinn can remember.

...

...

Kurt does talk to Sam. It doesn't seem like they get into the specifics of Quinn and Kurt's fight, but he and Sam seem on better terms. They decide to date again, non exclusively, which Quinn takes to mean Kurt is still dating Blaine.

Sam goes on a date with Rachel.

When he tells Quinn this the next day, she spits her coffee out on him.

"Quinn!"

"I--wait, she's dating Finn. Why? How...why did you go on a date with  _Rachel_?"

Sam looks at her oddly. "Because I like her." He says simply and pads at his clothes with a napkin. "And she and Finn are, I dunno, I don't think they're exclusive either. That's what Rachel said anyway."

"But... but you like  _Kurt_  right?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's mostly to make him jealous but also, I'm not gonna wait around while he dates other people. I like hanging out with Rachel. Plus, she's hot. I didn't notice it before, but she totally is."

"I don't want to talk about Rachel Berry's hotness." Quinn snaps.

...

...

They put on the musical West Side Story.

Rachel's the lead (obviously) and Santana gets a big part and she's  _good._  She and Rachel somehow manage to get along and don't kill each other throughout the entire production.

It's exhausting, putting on a musical. Quinn's only in the chorus and she's tired. She can't believe this is what Rachel's really wants to do for her job.

But watching her onstage, and how much she gets into the day to day work of it all, anyone can see how much she loves this; and how good at it she is.

Opening night, Quinn feels like she's going to puke, but she sucks it down and gives a nervous Santana a pep talk and has a blast.

She finally gets what Rachel loves about theatre.

...

...

Finn proposes to Rachel.

Quinn gets an early acceptance letter from Yale.

Sam and Kurt officially--exclusively--get back together.

...

...

Apparently, seeing Rachel go on a date with someone else made Finn incredibly jealous--as it also did with Kurt. Kurt however, being a teenager and a sane human being, got back together with Sam; while Finn took things to the extreme.

Quinn can't fathom that Rachel would ever actually say yes. She's already gone on auditions for Tisch and Juilliard over winter break and Quinn knows she sent an audition tape in to Carnegie Mellon as well. Rachel Berry is going to New York, it's something Quinn has known since she met her and yet...

She's considering staying in Ohio, marrying Finn at eighteen, and subsequently ruining her life.

For some reason it infuriates Quinn. But, she has no idea why Rachel asks for her advice. She didn't listen to her when she told her to wait on having sex with Finn a month or so ago; so she's not sure why Rachel's bothering now. She wants to yell, "don't marry him, he's an idiot who is going to peak in high school and make you miserable later." Instead, she hands Rachel her Yale acceptance letter. She hasn't even told Santana yet. Sam and her mother don't even know she applied. Somehow, Rachel is the first one to know. She squeals happily and throws her arms around Quinn and she lets her arms slip lightly around Rachel's small frame, and she closes her eyes for a second before Rachel pulls away.

"I'm so proud of you." She looks like she genuinely means it. Quinn lights up. Not many people seem proud of her anymore.

"It's...you know, I wanted to thank you actually. I don't know if I would have applied if it wasn't for you."

Rachel frowns, confused and waits for Quinn to explain.

She takes a breath. She's not even totally sure of the situation herself, she has no idea how exactly to put it into words. "You--you've always seen me as more than a pretty bitch who got knocked up. I have no idea  _why,_  because I've never given you much of a reason not too, but--it meant, it  _means_ a lot."

Rachel's looking at her in a way that makes her feel painfully exposed and Quinn averts her gaze. Before she can say anything else, Rachel grabs onto her wrist. "I... I don't know what to say." She admits. "But I feel like I should say thank you?" She laughs and Quinn joins her, noticing just how much Rachel's touch is affecting her. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit Quinn. You haven't done anything mean to me that I can recall this year, and you didn't really last year either. I mean, I would consider you one of my friends. Not just someone I'm friendly with. Is that... am I wrong to think that?"

"No." Quinn says immediately. "You're right, we're friends."

The way Rachel's face lights up is adorable. She scrunches her nose and bounces a little on her feet and Quinn can tell she wants to hug her again. She doesn't. She calms herself down and her face turns serious. "You know about Finn?" She asks, biting her lip. "What he asked me?"

Quinn sighs, she has been waiting for this since the minute Rachel walked into the bathroom. She doesn't know what to say, so she nods.

"He really wants an answer."

"What are you going to say?" She realizes her voice is barely more than a whisper. Rachel doesn't seem to notice, too busy thinking. She just shuffles her feet and shakes her head.

"I have no idea. I... I love him but..."

Quinn can't stand this any longer. "You're eighteen Rachel. You, you have your entire life ahead of you and it's not destined for Lima. I mean--God, how can you even be seriously considering it?" A horrible thought dawns on her. "Oh my god, you're not pregnant are you?" She asks. Rachel laughs a little and shakes her head.

"No. No, not at all. We've been very safe."

"Ew, I don't want to hear about that." She snaps and Rachel looks up at her with a small frown. Quinn sighs. "Rachel, you've known what you want out of life since you were a toddler, some people don't figure it out until they're in their forties! I mean, you're better than him." She says quietly but firmly. It's true. Quinn's known it for the better part of two years now. Rachel can do better than Finn Hudson. So can Quinn for that matter.

Rachel scowls. "That's not fair –-"

"It's true." If Rachel needs someone to snap her back into reality than fine, Quinn can be that person. "You belong in New York. You belong on a stage, not in a one level house in the suburbs of Ohio, popping out kids that are both freakishly tall and freakishly short. You're better than that Rachel."

In a very unlike Rachel fashion, she has been silent the entire time Quinn has been talking. The silence unnerves Quinn, but she takes advantage of a quiet Rachel Berry.

"Look Rachel, high school sweethearts are just that, sweet. They don't necessarily have to be anything else. I... that letter is my ticket out of Lima. I made a million mistakes here but I learned a lot from them. I wouldn't want to bring any baggage with me when I leave. You have to decide what's important. I can't change anything I've done, but I can let go of it and get past it, and enjoy my future. Whatever it holds."

Rachel still hasn't said anything, but Quinn knows the difference in her face when she is actually listening or not; and Rachel has been paying attention. Quinn gives her a small smile, grabs her bag, and walks out of the bathroom.

...

...

Rachel tells Finn yes.

Not only yes, but they decide to get married right after they graduate from high school.

The fact that Quinn was contemplating marrying the exact same boy not two years ago blows her mind. She's never seen something that is such an incredibly bad idea before in her life. Except maybe thinking 'trust me' was a sensible birth control option.

Everyone seems to agree with her, Rachel's dads are upset, Finn's mom is upset, the general consensuses is that this is the worst idea they've ever had. And Rachel and Finn aren't exactly paragons of great decision making.

Rachel smiles and shakily asks Quinn to be a bridesmaid and Quinn  _loses it_.

"No. Are you kidding me?"

Rachel's grin falters a little. "I--well you said we were friends, I want my friends there..."

"You're--you seriously want to marry Finn Hudson and stay in Lima?" Quinn shakes her head. "Did you not listen to anything that I said earlier?"

Rachel stands up straighter, angry. "I  _did_." She insists. "I did listen. I'm not staying in Lima, Finn's coming with me to New York. I'm not giving up my dream Quinn. I'm...altering it to include Finn. Whom I love. I don't--look I know everyone thinks this is crazy, but, isn't love crazy?"

"I wouldn't know. I've never been in love." She admits. "But there is crazy in love and there is  _stupid_. Rachel, agreeing to marry him someday is one thing, doing it  _right now_  is... it's fucking dumb." Quinn pauses and takes a breath, trying to calm herself down. "Rachel, the one thing I've always admired about you--even when I didn't like you--was you never apologize for your ambition. This, I mean..." Quinn trails off, she's lost her train of thought and she doesn't really know where she was going with this. She doesn't know how to get it into Rachel's head that she's being an idiot.

Rachel sucks in a breath and her face changes. She's pissed. Whatever, Quinn's pissed too.

"I thought you said you were my friend."

"I  _am_!" Quinn yells. "Friends tell you when you're being a fucking idiot! Rachel, you're being a fucking idiot." She looks around to the rest of the girls. "Is no one else seriously going to back me up here?"

Mercedes and Tina just shrug. Brittany is busy spinning around in a puffy wedding dress while Santana fluffs up the taffeta and gags at ugly dresses.

"I don't want people at the wedding who aren't going to support me. God Quinn,  _Santana_  is supporting me more than you!"

Quinn snorts. "Santana just doesn't care. There's a difference."

"Don't come then." Rachel snaps. "If you can't be my friend and actually support me then don't come."

Quinn bites down on the inside of her cheek, trying not to let Rachel see that she's hurt. "Fine. Ruin your life, I don't care." She turns away and leaves the bridal shop and all her friends in it.

...

...

They go to Regionals and dance their asses off. Quinn works with Brittany in the hotel lobby until almost midnight, forcing herself to fix the one step she keeps fumbling.

Santana ditches them sometime right after eleven, complaining about lack of sleep. Everyone else went to bed around ten or so, and it's just Quinn and Brittany left.

"Our bridesmaid dresses are the pink ones we tried on." Britt says as they make their way back up to the hotel room. Quinn blanches, Britt's not looking at her in any sort of way other than her usual self. It's the thing Quinn loves the most about Brittany, she never feels judged by her.

"They were pretty dresses." Quinn answers noncommittally.

"Are you still in love with Finn? Is that why you're so sad?"

"What!? God,  _no_. I dated him for four months almost two years ago. I didn't even really like him  _the_ _n,_  I'm not in love with him. I think Rachel is making a huge mistake."

Brittany studies Quinn and she moves away from her gaze and goes into the hotel room she's sharing with her and Santana. Santana is sprawled across the bed close to the wall, taking up the entire thing. Quinn sighs and pulls her sweaty clothes off and opts for wiping herself down with a washcloth instead of jumping in the shower. She's too tired to bother. Brittany follows her lead and the two of them climb into the empty bed together.

Quinn rolls over to her side and curls up. It's her first real night apart from Beth and she feels weird about it. She Skyped with her mother as she was putting Beth to bed, but Quinn could see that Beth was fussing.

Per usual, Britt can almost read her mind. She snakes her arms around Quinn's middle and pulls her close. Quinn thinks she's fallen asleep until she speaks a few moments later, her voice no more than a whisper. "You should come. To the wedding I mean."

"I'm uninvited." Quinn reminds her, trying to leave the hurt out of her voice.

"Yeah, but she'll let you come if you ask. She just wants everyone to be happy."

Quinn pretends to fall asleep.

...

...

They win Regionals.

Rachel guilts trips Quinn before they perform. She and Finn are moving up the wedding. Next week, not May, after graduation as they had planned. Rachel is talking to the whole glee club, but Quinn knows it's mostly about her. No one else has protested much about the wedding, not to Rachel's face anyway. She talks about the wedding and wanting her friends-- _all her friends_ , she directs at Quinn--supporting her and Finn. Quinn bites her lip and tries to look everywhere but at Rachel's face.

They go and perform and Quinn doesn't fumble the step she's been messing up. Practice with Brittany paid off.

Quinn watches Rachel perform her solo and gets butterflies.

It's not the first time (Quinn has known that Rachel is an astounding performer for years) but something about this time hits her harder. She thinks Rachel is making a huge mistake, but she doesn't want to be left out.

When they get home, Coach gives her a Cheerios uniform and tells her she's proud of her. It means more than Quinn ever thought it would.

She goes and finds Rachel, who seems a little tripped up at seeing Quinn in her uniform again. "Hi." She says shakily.

Despite being angry with her, Rachel smiles at Quinn anyway. "Hello." She nods to Quinn's clothes. "Back on the Cheerios?"

Quinn shakes her head. "Coach offered but... that's not me anymore. It's a little nice to be wearing it again though." She shrugs. This small talk feels pointless and stilted and Quinn can feel herself getting emotional. Rachel marrying Finn makes Quinn feel...queasy, angry, and hurt in a way that she doesn't have words for. That's the part that bothers her more than anything. She can't name it. The confusion hurts almost as much as the unnamed feeling.

"I--when you were singing that song, you were singing to Finn--and  _only_  Finn right?" She blurts out through tears.

Rachel tilts her head, looking every bit as confused as Quinn feels. She doesn't answer, only nods a bit. Quinn sucks in a breath and tries to will the tears not to fall, nodding back at her.

"I want to support you Rachel." She twists her face into as much of a smile as she can manage. "And... I'd like to still be a bridesmaid, if the offer is still available."

Rachel beams and jumps into Quinn's arms. "Yes!"

Quinn wraps her arms around Rachel and sighs. Something about the way Rachel's body fits into hers makes the unnamed feeling grow worse.

...

...

"Zip me up."

Quinn positions her headband and turns around, pulling up the zipper on the matching pink dress Santana is wearing.

"Jesus Q it's a wedding not a funeral."

"It's the teenage wedding of Rachel and Finn."

"Why do you care? If Berry wants to shack up with Finnept for the rest of her life then so be it. Who cares? It's stupid, but it's her life."

"She's better than that." Quinn mutters under her breath.

Santana gives her an odd look, but for once in her life doesn't say anything.

...

...

Rachel looks stunning. Her fathers and Finn's parents are still trying to stall--Quinn overheard something about a pretend seizure--but Finn looks positively giddy.

Rachel looks... nervous as all get out. Quinn's never seen her like this and frankly, it's unnerving.

"Are you okay?" She whispers.

"I--um, yes. Just jitters. That's normal right?"

"According to every romantic comedy I've ever seen." Quinn stands behind Rachel and fixes her veil. It's moved slightly off kilter.

The rest of the girls are all fussing with their own clothes, Brittany and Santana are throwing flower petals at each other.

"Are you going to Yale?" Rachel asks.

Surprised, Quinn catches Rachel's gaze in the mirror. "Um, I was going to. But I'm not sure now. I got into Columbia and Ohio State too. I just got my letters this week. What about you? Have you heard back on any schools yet?"

Rachel nods. "I haven't told anyone yet. I got into Carnegie Mellon. It's in Pennsylvania."

"I know where it is." Quinn says with a light smile. "That's great Rachel. I've heard that's a great school for drama."

"I'm still waiting on Juilliard, Pace, and Tisch though. They're all in New York."

"You'll get in." Quinn says confidently. Rachel meets Quinn's gaze and smiles. She doesn't look as convinced as Quinn feels. "You  _will_  Rachel. You're amazing. And you're going to get into an amazing school and they are going to teach you how to be even better than you already are. Someday, I'm gonna see your name up on a marquee on Broadway and tell everyone I knew Rachel Berry before she was famous."

Rachel laughs and it's the happiest she's looked in two hours. "You really think so?" She looks almost scared to ask. It breaks Quinn's heart a little.

"Of course." She answers at once. "Rachel, I don't know a lot, but you on a stage makes more sense than anything I've ever heard. It's an inevitability."

Rachel makes a noise that Quinn thinks is another laugh, but once she sees Rachel's face realizes was a sob. "I can't do this." She whispers.

Quinn moves from behind Rachel and sits down on the vanity in front of her. "Rachel, of course you can. You're gonna get into one of those schools, or you're going to go to Carnegie Mellon because it's  _also_  amazing and then someday, you're going to perform on a Broadway stage."

"No." Rachel shakes her head and rips the veil off her head. " _This._ " She repeats. "I can't get married. I'm eighteen. This is--this is  _insane._  I've only been out of Ohio twice. I don't know how to do taxes, or laundry, or cook. I don't know what you have to do to move into an apartment, I've only ever really dated Finn! I mean, I don't think Puck and Sam even really count. I only made out with Puck a few times and we called it dating. Sam and I went on  _one date_  and it was really just us hanging out like friends and to make Kurt jealous. I...I couldn't even let Finn poop in my bathroom! I'm too young to do this." She looks frantically up at Quinn. "Why didn't I listen to you?" She's truly panicking now and all the girls have stopped joking around and are listening to her. "Oh my god, what am I doing? I can't do this Quinn." Rachel stands up and wraps her arms around herself, pulling at her dress, trying to get it off. "I can't--Finn's gonna be so  _mad_. Oh god I told him yes. Why did I tell him yes? I can't do this. I can't.  _I can't_. Quinn get me out of here I  _can't._ "

Tina and Mercedes look terrified. Rachel is panicking big time and no one moves. Even Santana looks at a loss. Quinn sees her frown and move forward and she's pretty sure Santana's going to try and slap Rachel into calming down.

Quinn stands and grabs Rachel's shoulders. "Rachel, it's okay calm down."

"I can't!" She yells. "I can't do this!"

" _You don't have to_. Rachel, stop. Breathe. You don't have to do this."

"But I said yes!"

"And you're allowed to change your mind."

"I can't tell him. I... oh god." Rachel starts sobbing and her head slams into Quinn's shoulder. "Why did I say yes?" She whines.

Quinn rubs her back gently and turns to Santana. "Go get Rachel's dad. The tall one, Leroy."

"No!" Rachel yells. "I just want to get out of here Quinn please."

"Okay." Quinn sighs. "Santana, go find him and tell him that I took Rachel to get coffee and that the wedding is off.  _Do not_  go tell Finn. His mother or one of Rachel's dads can do that. Britt, go with her and make sure she's not the one who tells Finn okay?"

Brittany nods and grabs Santana's arm, pulling her out the door with her.

"Tina, Mercedes, create a diversion so I can get Rachel out of here." Quinn orders. Everyone is so shocked, and Quinn knows she can make her voice commanding when she wants to, that they just comply without any hassle. "Come on Rachel." Quinn grabs her bag and gets her keys, taking Rachel's hand and pulls her out into the parking lot.

Rachel is still crying. Quinn directs her into the passenger seat and pulls out of the chapel lot. "Do you want to just go home?" She asks after they've been driving a few minutes in silence.

Rachel shakes her head. She's calmer now. "He's going to hate me." She whispers.

"No he's not. He'll be upset sure, but if he loves you he will understand and get over it. Rachel, everyone but you guys thought this was a bad idea. You realized it. He probably will too."

"Aren't you going to say it?"

"Say what?"

"I told you so."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it would be mean and stupid. And, we're friends now remember?"

Rachel doesn't say anything for a few more minutes. Quinn just drives aimlessly. After almost half an hour has past, Rachel speaks up again. "I want to go home."

"Okay." Quinn says, and turns the car around.

...

...

Finn  _is_  upset. Quinn can't really blame him, but she also doesn't care about his pain at all. She's sick of people putting him up on a pedestal that he doesn't deserve.

He and Rachel... don't exactly break up, they're going to Prom together and they still seem to be dating, but Quinn can tell something has shifted. Both of them say they are still engaged, just weren't ready yet, but Rachel's acting different. She won't talk about it and Quinn doesn't push.

...

...

They get their set list for Nationals locked down and practice every single day. Writing songs and making up an entire set the night before was the most ridiculous thing they've ever done. Quinn wants to win. She's a senior, she has no idea when she'll ever really get to perform again. She wants this and she wants it bad. She finds Rachel after school and tells her so and the pair of them throw themselves into working the rest of the club until they drop. Rachel seems grateful to have something to take her mind off of whatever is going on between her and Finn.

...

...

Quinn gets acceptance letters from Wellesley, Smith, Boston University and Berkeley. Along with her early admissions from Yale, and the letters from Ohio State and Columbia, she's gotten into some of the better schools in the country. She has her pick of bright futures. Some of them give her more financial aid than others, but...Quinn can almost have anything she wants. It's an amazing and surreal feeling.

She's not the only one getting acceptance letters.

Brittany gets accepted into the Tisch dance program in NYU. It's one of the most selective dance programs in the country. Quinn tackles her into the biggest, bone crushing hug she's ever given anyone. Santana jumps on them and screams with joy.

Two days later, her acceptance letter from Brooklyn College comes. She comes sprinting down the hall in high heels, brandishing the letter in her hands and yelling like a maniac. "I got in! Britt, we're going to New York, I got in!"

She practically jumps onto Brittany before grabbing Quinn. "Q, fuck Ohio and the lesbian colleges in Massachusetts. You are going to Columbia and we are all going to New York together."

"Wellesley is a women's college, that doesn't mean it's full of lesbians."

"Smith is. Why'd you apply there anyway Q, something you haven't told us?" Santana winks and pinches Quinn's side. Quinn smacks her. It's not the first time Santana's made that joke, and it won't be the last. "Seriously though, Columbia is like one of the best schools in the country, it's pretty much an Ivy league isn't it? Fuck Yale, come be in New York with us!"

"Maybe." Quinn smiles.

...

...

The acceptance letters keep rolling in. As predicted, Rachel gets into Pace and the drama program in Tisch. She doesn't get into Juilliard, and Quinn can tell she's disappointed, but Tisch was the one she really wanted.

Kurt doesn't get into any of them. He's  _crushed_  and despite still not being on the greatest of terms, Quinn feels horrible for him. He was overconfident and didn't apply to any safety schools. Quinn can see him freaking out and by association so is Sam.

Rachel tries to not talk about school in front of Kurt. It's hard, but Quinn can see her trying to hide her excitement.

Quinn still hasn't made a decision. She can't yet. There is one person she has to consult with. She takes Beth over to Puck's house and asks him if he wants to go to Prom with her, and what he wants to do next year.

He says yes to Prom but won't give her an answer about after high school.

"Puck, I need to figure out which school I'm going to. If I don't they can give away my spot."

"Poor you, a bunch of rich assholes are lining up to kiss your ass any give you a free ride to any famous school you want." He sneers.

Quinn bites her lip and doesn't try very hard to hold back her fury. "Excuse me if I studied my ass off while figuring out how to be a mother and got into good schools because of it. I worked  _hard_  Puck. I take care of Beth day in and day out, you play with her for an hour a day at  _max_. I studied every single night, and I got good grades. It's not my fault if you barely show up to school and never do your homework. This is how the world works Puck."

He refuses to look at her. And something in the pout makes him look like a little boy. It both infuriates Quinn and makes her calm down. She can't count on him. She's known it all along. He's blown through every chance she gives him. But he always tries anyway. And he loves Beth.

Quinn sighs and sits down next to him. "Puck, I want to go to Columbia I think. Either that or Yale. I'm going make sure you get to see Beth, you can call and you'll always be her dad, but... I'm not staying in Ohio."

"Yeah, I know." He looks up at Quinn finally. She expected him to be mad, but he just looks resigned. "We're still gonna go to Prom though right?" He cracks a grin.

Quinn smiles and leans in, kissing his cheek. "Yes."

...

...

Quinn picks a light purple dress.

Her mother fixes her hair and she and Puck take pictures together and with Beth before heading to Prom.

She walks into the school on the arm of the first and only boy she's ever had sex with. The father of her child, and someone she is not in love with. When she's imagined her senior prom (and sadly it's an event she's imagined many times) she was always on the arm of a boy she loved. It stings for a minute before she shakes it off. Santana and Brittany are already dancing and Santana is beaming in a way that Quinn doesn't think she's ever seen before. She may not be in love with anyone, but multiple prestigious colleges want her, she has amazing friends, a daughter who she loves and she's graduating Salutatorian. She's not doing so bad.

Puck spins her around and she lets out a giggle. They join Santana and Brittany and the rest of the kids on the dance floor.

She's in the running for Prom Queen. Santana wants to win with Brittany. And Quinn would be lying if she said she didn't want to win. Her night's not hinged on it, she won't let that happen again, but she  _does_  want it.

She watches Rachel let out a laugh as she twists around the dance floor with Kurt, looking stunning in her dress. Brittany inserts herself between them and spins first Kurt, than Rachel and wiggles her butt around with a grin. Santana laughs in Quinn's ear and loops an arm around her shoulder. "Come on Fabray, dance with me."

Coach Sylvester appoints both Quinn and Santana to count the votes for Prom king and queen. She knows that both of them will keep each other honest.

Quinn walks down the empty hall to meet Santana and is stopped by Rachel calling out her name. She turns and suppresses a laugh as Rachel trots over in her heels. "Hi." Rachel says once she gets to her.

"Hi."

"Umm, I just... I heard you got into Columbia,  _and_  Boston University,  _and_  Smith,  _and_  Wellesley and... am I missing any others?" She says with a laugh. "I wanted to say congratulations! And –- to say thank you. For, being honest with me and helping me see how crazy I was being. I--I got into Tisch. I'm going to New York! And, I might not have done that if I married Finn and I just –- thank you."

"I didn't do anything but tell you you were being an idiot. You figured everything out on your own." Quinn shrugs. "And please, if you think even Finn could actually keep you from New York then you must be drunk or something. Puck probably spiked the punch. Don't drink it."

Rachel laughs. "No." She reaches out and takes Quinn's arm, stopping her from walking away. "Wait, do you not understand what you mean to me? I mean when we first met, you were everything I wanted to be. You were beautiful and popular and you had Finn."

Quinn snorts. "Well, how the mighty hath fallen I guess." She says dryly. "Stretch marks, a toddler, lack of sleep, no Cheerios. Certainly not popular by anyone's standards, and no boy. You've got that."

"No." Rachel insists. "Don't you don't understand, I still see you that way. You're still beautiful and smart and inspiring. And, I'm going to New York but honestly I have no idea what is happening with me and Finn, or what my future holds. But, when I look back on my high school career, one thing I'm always going to be proud of is that I found a way to be your friend."

Quinn... doesn't know what to do with this information. Rachel pauses, and beams at her.

"And, I also wanted you to know that I voted for you for prom queen and I really think you deserve it."

Quinn's about to say--something, she doesn't know what--but Santana waddles into the hallway carrying boxes full of votes and toy dinosaurs.

"Ugh, stop making out with Berry and get to the choir room Quinn. It's time to count the votes and declare me the winner!" She yells cheerfully.

"Okay, bye." Rachel says. "Good luck." She walks away with a smile, leaving Quinn alone and baffled.

...

...

"I won." Quinn declares, astonished. "I actually won."

"Ugh, whatever you only beat me by one vote, and I don't want to be queen if Brittany's not king anyway." Santana props herself up onto the table and purses her lips. "Congrats Q."

"You know, I thought I'd be more excited. I mean, I've wanted to be prom queen for years. It doesn't feel as good as I thought it would."

"Cause this school is bullshit. And we're better than it. We're gonna be awesome in New York and rule the entire city."

"I haven't told Columbia yes."

Santana scoffs. "You're going. Do you really wanna be alone up in Massachusetts or hanging with me and Britt in New York? Fuck Yale, Columbia's just as good. Plus it's in the city, Yale's just up in bumfuck nowhere."

Quinn shakes her head. "It's still  _Yale_. People don't say no to Yale."

"Yale isn't giving you as much money."

"How do you know that?"

Santana shrugs. "I go through your mail." She says like it's obvious. "And who gives a shit about Yale,  _you got in_ , early. That's awesome in itself. It doesn't mean you have to go."

"You can admit you'll miss me and want me around." Quinn jokes.

"Never." Santana says with a grin.

"You know, we've had it kind of awesome." Quinn says after a minute. "I mean, there was horrible shit that I wish never happened but – we  _ruled_  this school. We did whatever we wanted, with whoever we wanted and despite all the crap. Pregnancy, being outed, slushies, all the bullshit, we came out on top. We're still the hottest girls in this place."

Santana flips her hair and grins. "Damn straight."

Quinn gets an idea and smiles at her best friend. "Do you want to leave this place having actually made a difference?"

Santana narrows her eyes. "How exactly?"

...

...

Quinn and Santana stand side by side up on stage and wait. Finn gets declared prom king and Quinn pokes Santana's leg. She sticks her tongue out back at Quinn.

Figgins announces Rachel as prom queen and Quinn beams at her. Finn looks like a confused asshole. Quinn wants to kick him--hard. Even Santana looks angrily at him while she claps for Rachel.

Rachel takes forever and a day to make her way up to the stage. Kurt crowns her and whispers at her to breathe. Quinn watches her dance with Finn and serenades them with Santana. Once Rachel finally realizes it isn't a joke, and no one is going to drop pigs blood on her, she starts glowing and doesn't stop for the rest of the night.

Who knew being nice to people could make you feel this good?

...

...

They work their asses off practicing for Nationals.

Mike and Brittany spend every afternoon drilling the steps into everyone's heads. Rachel won't let a single person leave until they know their parts inside and out, every note to perfection.

When people get annoyed with her, and snap--Mercedes almost pulls Rachel away by her hair--Quinn attacks them. Even Santana gets an incredibly hard pinch to the arm after threatening to slap Rachel six ways from Sunday.

...

...

The plane arrives late in Chicago, and they go straight to the hotel, and keep practicing.

Mercedes gets food poisoning, Finn keeps fumbling the dance steps, Puck and Sam get into a huge fight, and Tina just starts crying over and over again.

Everyone is yelling at everyone and Quinn just wants to sit down and cry, or slap every person in the room. She's leaning towards the latter when Santana stands up and whistles; then chews everyone out until they are silent.

Mr Schue walks into the room just as she's finished, but doesn't yell at her. Her methods are frightening but effective.

Mike goes to help Finn one on one. Coach Sylvester starts pouring foreign liquids into Mercedes claiming she has a homemade food poisoning cure. Puck and Sam are separated and Santana slaps Tina to make her stop crying. Mr Schue objects to that, and gives Santana detention when they get back. She frowns, considering there are only four days left of school.

"Might as well go out with a bang." She says with a shrug.

...

...

Quinn stretches backstage before they go on. Coach pumped something into Mercedes, and she's up and ready to perform, if a tiny bit shaky. Finn has got the moves down. He's been ordered to keep an eye on Mike and mimic him if he gets lost.

Santana rushes up to Quinn and grabs her hand, Brittany's tangled in her other. "Unholy trinity." She jokes. "Starting together, ending together." Quinn smiles and squeezes her hand.

"Knock 'em dead San."

The lights go up and for a second, Quinn hesitates. But the music starts and Santana belts out the first verse flawlessly and Quinn forgets the lights shining in her eyes and stops worrying about the steps or the notes and just enjoys herself.

Their first number goes of without a hitch.

Quinn stands in the back and listens as Rachel belts out her solo like her life depends on it. The crowd gives her a standing ovation even before they can start their final song.

Finn jumps forward and begins singing, and he manages to hit all the correct steps. It's fast paced and energetic and the crowd is loving it.

They give it everything they've got. Quinn knows Vocal Adrenaline was also pretty amazing, it's going to be close, but Quinn thinks they can win. She clutches Santana's hand and takes Sam's with her other one as they wait.

The second they announce New Directions as the winner, Quinn screams as Santana wraps her arms around her waist and hoists her into the air. "We won!"

...

...

They get back to school and celebrate constantly between then and graduation; and then keep on celebrating.

...

...

Figgins announces 'Quinn Fabray' as Salutatorian and she walks onto the stage beaming. Her mother is holding up Beth and cheering loudly and Quinn feels well and truly happy for the first time in  _years._

Pictures are taken, over and over, by every parent and friend she has.

Red is everywhere. Red gowns, red tassels, and eventually, at the graduation parties, red plastic cups.

Quinn indulges, and takes her first sips of alcohol since she loses her virginity. She finds it just as repulsive, and chucks her cup. Swearing off it forever.

...

...

Beth turns two.

Quinn's going to Columbia and moving into an apartment with her friends. She survived high school and came out on the other side. She's not an idiot, her life is about to get hard in other, different ways, but it's also free and full of possibilities.

Santana throws some of Beth's birthday cake at Quinn's head. She turns around and glares. Santana holds Beth in front of her as a shield, Brittany, Sam and Rachel laughing behind her.

"Mama, you messy!" Beth cheers happily.

"Yes I am." She grins. "And Santana's about to get messy too!" Quinn picks up a large piece of cake and holds it out in front of her.

"Now, now Quinn, you're not going to throw this at your daughter are you?" She teases, holding Beth up in front of her face.

"Beth, don't you want to swim with Brittany?"

"Yeah!" Beth cheers, and kicks furiously until Santana can't hold onto her anymore. She runs to Brittany, who scoops her up happily and jumps into the pool, both of them fully clothed; which Beth is delighted by.

"Traitor!" Santana yells at her. Quinn smirks and shoves the cake in Santana's face, then kisses her nose. Santana licks her lips then tackles Quinn and pulls them both into the pool with a yelp.

"You bitch!" Quinn screams as she breaks the surface. Rachel is laughing and Quinn glares at her. "Sam, grab her!" She yells. Before Rachel can run away, Sam pulls her into the pool as well. Yelling 'cowabunga' as they fall in.

Beth is squealing with delight at everyone in the pool, covered in cake and still in their clothes. Quinn sees Kurt snap a picture on his phone out of the corner of her eye, and makes a note to tell him to send it to her. She reaches over and dunks Santana, then swims over and takes Beth from Brittany. Kissing her face and spinning her around she whispers, "happy birthday, we're going to New York."

Beth smiles back at her. "New York." She repeats.


End file.
